/u/ofMindandHeart on ♠ Aces of reddit! Help my potential asexual friend

First thing to remember is that no one else can tell what sexuality someone has other than the person themself. Orientations are based on attraction or lacktherof, which is internal, not external behavior. You’ve said he seems sex repulsed, but it’s possible to be sex repulsed and not asexual.

I’d say make sure to ask him whether he wants your assistance. You can ask if he’d like you to send him resources, or if he’d like you to listen while he talks through his internal experiences, but respect his answer if he says no, or if he changes his mind later and says no. These are really personal topics, and no one should be pressured to reveal personal details to someone if they don’t feel comfortable.

Some helpful resources might be this video on types of attraction, these three links about what sexual attraction feels like, and maybe pointing him to places like this subreddit and AVEN where he can ask his own questions if he wants to.

Regardless of whether he ends up identifying as somewhere on the ace spectrum, it would probably be good to have a conversation with him about whether there’s anything your friend group could do differently so he could feel more comfortable. It’s possible there’s room for some compromises there.

January 03, 2022 at 12:04AM