Exclusivity and red flags?

I’ve been dating this guy for nearly two months now. With the way he talks, the frequency of communication, and the things he says, I thought we were both on the same page and only seeing each other. He had in fact told me in passing that he was only seeing me. Still, my intuition was telling me something was wrong. I eventually just asked if he was still seeing anyone else for peace of mind and he gave me this sheepish look and admitted he was. He had expressed that he wanted to take things slow after having been burned pretty bad in a previous relationship, but I didn’t realize taking things slow meant actively seeing other people. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with that and concerned that he tried to hide it from me until I asked. He assured me that he likes me more than anyone else he has seen, but the fact that he kind of lied and is clearly still unsure about whether he likes me enough to be exclusive makes me want to run for the hills. When I told him how I felt, he said he would stop seeing other people if that is what I wanted because he didn’t want to lose me. I am not trying to give an ultimatum and the sudden switch is giving me whiplash. Is this situation a red flag?



Submitted January 12, 2022 at 09:25PM

I’ve been dating this guy for nearly two months now. With the way he talks, the frequency of communication, and the things he says, I thought we were both on the same page and only seeing each other. He had in fact told me in passing that he was only seeing me. Still, my intuition was telling me something was wrong. I eventually just asked if he was still seeing anyone else for peace of mind and he gave me this sheepish look and admitted he was. He had expressed that he wanted to take things slow after having been burned pretty bad in a previous relationship, but I didn’t realize taking things slow meant actively seeing other people. I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with that and concerned that he tried to hide it from me until I asked. He assured me that he likes me more than anyone else he has seen, but the fact that he kind of lied and is clearly still unsure about whether he likes me enough to be exclusive makes me want to run for the hills. When I told him how I felt, he said he would stop seeing other people if that is what I wanted because he didn’t want to lose me. I am not trying to give an ultimatum and the sudden switch is giving me whiplash. Is this situation a red flag?
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