Question about boundaries. Please help this anxious dude

First hey I hope you’re day is going well and thanks for taking a minute to read this.

So 2019, Christmas party, I met this chick while out smoking a cig. I could use any number of adjectives to describe her but that’s irrelevant, we’ve all had love at first sight enough to know it isn’t that special. She’s gorgeous, artistic, sarcastic and incredibly witty. Anyways we only talked for a minute before going back to the party. I followed her on IG the next day, no accept.

Fast forward to today, or a couple weeks ago (thanks for sticking with me through the expected run on sentences and lack of pizazz) She randomly accepts my request, and we start to DM. Pretty innocent, she told me she almost immediately started dating someone from that party, an old friend of mine actually, and that they’d very recently broke up. I said we should get drinks and she said she wasn’t looking to date right now, idk where the convo went from there, rejection from someone in that position doesn’t make me feel bad, I get it and got out of a relationship myself 3 months ago with a period of not dating after. I get it and respect it

At this point we’ve had a couple conversations that lasted for hours on insta, nothing sexual bc honestly every relationship I had that started with a sexual nature fizzle out in very disappointing ways so I’m trying to develop a friendship first now…so I’m trying hard to not give like thirsty (albeit very genuine) compliments or make sexual jokes or press her to meet up even though we have a handful of mutual friends. We talked last night and I was having a kinda crappy day til we chatted and when I went to sleep I thanked her for talking with me and let her know it made my night a lot better. She said no problem and that she liked talking to me. No more no less. Not really sure how to take that. Part of me wants to think she actually does enjoy it and wants me to ask her out again. The other part says nothings changed in a couple weeks, she doesn’t want to date your lame 5’6 skateboarding overtime working ass. I’m sometimes hard on myself.

Tbh I never had this problem of getting in my own way until the last year or so dating someone incredibly toxic who somehow morphed me into this simp second guesser. Health insurance kicks in about 6 weeks and then therapy starts.

Been nervous about dating since the breakup and dealing with my own demons but I’ve met a few girls that I blew off immediately to ruin it by my own choice before anything got off the ground but I rly don’t want to do that.. I like this girl a lot and want to get to know her. I don’t even know what I’m asking or looking for but if you have any thoughts about this lmk and again thanks for taking the time to read all this

And ftr I’m not stressing this bc it’s like my only possible option.. it’s just the other girls I respond to don’t get me nearly as excited as this one does. She’s so fun to talk to and doesn’t mind carrying convo and asking me questions, it’s pretty cool ngl. HALP IM GNA FUCK IT UP without help

Submitted December 29, 2021 at 11:58PM

First hey I hope you’re day is going well and thanks for taking a minute to read this.So 2019, Christmas party, I met this chick while out smoking a cig. I could use any number of adjectives to describe her but that’s irrelevant, we’ve all had love at first sight enough to know it isn’t that special. She’s gorgeous, artistic, sarcastic and incredibly witty. Anyways we only talked for a minute before going back to the party. I followed her on IG the next day, no accept.Fast forward to today, or a couple weeks ago (thanks for sticking with me through the expected run on sentences and lack of pizazz) She randomly accepts my request, and we start to DM. Pretty innocent, she told me she almost immediately started dating someone from that party, an old friend of mine actually, and that they’d very recently broke up. I said we should get drinks and she said she wasn’t looking to date right now, idk where the convo went from there, rejection from someone in that position doesn’t make me feel bad, I get it and got out of a relationship myself 3 months ago with a period of not dating after. I get it and respect itAt this point we’ve had a couple conversations that lasted for hours on insta, nothing sexual bc honestly every relationship I had that started with a sexual nature fizzle out in very disappointing ways so I’m trying to develop a friendship first now…so I’m trying hard to not give like thirsty (albeit very genuine) compliments or make sexual jokes or press her to meet up even though we have a handful of mutual friends. We talked last night and I was having a kinda crappy day til we chatted and when I went to sleep I thanked her for talking with me and let her know it made my night a lot better. She said no problem and that she liked talking to me. No more no less. Not really sure how to take that. Part of me wants to think she actually does enjoy it and wants me to ask her out again. The other part says nothings changed in a couple weeks, she doesn’t want to date your lame 5’6 skateboarding overtime working ass. I’m sometimes hard on myself.Tbh I never had this problem of getting in my own way until the last year or so dating someone incredibly toxic who somehow morphed me into this simp second guesser. Health insurance kicks in about 6 weeks and then therapy starts.Been nervous about dating since the breakup and dealing with my own demons but I’ve met a few girls that I blew off immediately to ruin it by my own choice before anything got off the ground but I rly don’t want to do that.. I like this girl a lot and want to get to know her. I don’t even know what I’m asking or looking for but if you have any thoughts about this lmk and again thanks for taking the time to read all thisAnd ftr I’m not stressing this bc it’s like my only possible option.. it’s just the other girls I respond to don’t get me nearly as excited as this one does. She’s so fun to talk to and doesn’t mind carrying convo and asking me questions, it’s pretty cool ngl. HALP IM GNA FUCK IT UP without help