Hi! M17 looking for some advice.

Hi there!

Six months ago, I've finally gathered all my courage to ask a girl, that I've known for 12 years, out for the first time. We knew each other, bot not on a truly personal level. One time, we were supposed to go to a cinema with our friend group, but to our surprise, no one had the time to come. We both wanted to see the movie really badly, but we thought that the meeting with our friends got canceled. So I went and send her this: "Hey, it might seem weird, because I've never done this before, but don't you wanna go see the cinema with me? I know that it's not with our friend group, but I'd love to go. Wanna join me?". And she somehow agreed. It was by far the most random thing that happened to me. We both ended up really enjoying that movie and our time together. It was really heartwarming. Then I asked her out again. We went out for a walk this time. And again and again. Yesterday, we've been on around 15-20 unofficial dates/walks/coffees together. Everytime we are spending time together, I like to think we are both enjoying it.

For the past few months, I began to notice some differences in her behavior. Since when I've opened up to her for the first time (I don't trust people that much), she had started to take interest in me. She asks my friends about how am I doing, when I'm sad, she asks them to talk to me when I look alone or she reschedules our "dates" instead of canceling them when our busy schedules don't meet. I am extremely grateful for it. She even made a two person book club with me, because I started reading as a new hobby and she extremely enjoys that activity. We also talk about our feelings a lot.

Yesterday, we both were spending the night with our friend group in some kind of a cabin. As we went to sleep, I had two choices where I could sleep. Either on a very comfortable mattress on the floor, or in a double bed with her. I was insisting on sleeping on the mattress, so she can have the whole bed to herself, but when I asked her, jokingly, if I could sleep with her, she was surprisingly ok with it. Nothing romantic happened between us as we were sleeping, but it was still a bit stunning for me.

The thing is, I'm still not entirely convinced she likes me. I sometimes think to myself that she only does this all only because she feels bad for me or something similar. Currently, I don't know what to do. I fear that if I talk to her about how I really like her, it might ruin our friendship. I really don't want this situation to happen, because even if she rejects me, i'd love to still be a friend of hers like I am right now.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, because I'm still not sure if I want to tell her I like her. What should I do?

I appreciate all of your answers.



Submitted December 30, 2021 at 12:10AM

Hi there!Six months ago, I've finally gathered all my courage to ask a girl, that I've known for 12 years, out for the first time. We knew each other, bot not on a truly personal level. One time, we were supposed to go to a cinema with our friend group, but to our surprise, no one had the time to come. We both wanted to see the movie really badly, but we thought that the meeting with our friends got canceled. So I went and send her this: "Hey, it might seem weird, because I've never done this before, but don't you wanna go see the cinema with me? I know that it's not with our friend group, but I'd love to go. Wanna join me?". And she somehow agreed. It was by far the most random thing that happened to me. We both ended up really enjoying that movie and our time together. It was really heartwarming. Then I asked her out again. We went out for a walk this time. And again and again. Yesterday, we've been on around 15-20 unofficial dates/walks/coffees together. Everytime we are spending time together, I like to think we are both enjoying it.For the past few months, I began to notice some differences in her behavior. Since when I've opened up to her for the first time (I don't trust people that much), she had started to take interest in me. She asks my friends about how am I doing, when I'm sad, she asks them to talk to me when I look alone or she reschedules our "dates" instead of canceling them when our busy schedules don't meet. I am extremely grateful for it. She even made a two person book club with me, because I started reading as a new hobby and she extremely enjoys that activity. We also talk about our feelings a lot.Yesterday, we both were spending the night with our friend group in some kind of a cabin. As we went to sleep, I had two choices where I could sleep. Either on a very comfortable mattress on the floor, or in a double bed with her. I was insisting on sleeping on the mattress, so she can have the whole bed to herself, but when I asked her, jokingly, if I could sleep with her, she was surprisingly ok with it. Nothing romantic happened between us as we were sleeping, but it was still a bit stunning for me.The thing is, I'm still not entirely convinced she likes me. I sometimes think to myself that she only does this all only because she feels bad for me or something similar. Currently, I don't know what to do. I fear that if I talk to her about how I really like her, it might ruin our friendship. I really don't want this situation to happen, because even if she rejects me, i'd love to still be a friend of hers like I am right now.I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, because I'm still not sure if I want to tell her I like her. What should I do?I appreciate all of your answers.
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