I’m 25f and he’s 31m. He told me “I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on, but I want to take things slow. I just moved here and I’m busy with my job. Relationships come with effort too. Also, you can do what you want, so that’s cool”. How would you interpret this?

I had been seeing this guy for almost two months when he said this to me. We never agreed to be in a committed relationship, but we sure acted like it. We would go on dates, hold hands and kiss in public, spend every weekend together, and hooked up a lot. All of a sudden, he tells me what is mentioned above in the title. I won’t lie, I kind of got mad and started to believe that he really was playing me. With that in mind, I hooked up with someone else that I met on Hinge. I recognize that this was likely just protest behavior on my part, and I didn’t really like the Hinge guy. Anyways, he found out and got really mad. He told me that he genuinely liked me and that I played him. He pulled that “we were working towards a relationship” argument at this point. He also called me all kinds of other names like “fake” and trashy. If you were in my shoes, would you believe him? Would you believe he genuinely wanted to date you? OR would you not believe a word he says and run?



Submitted December 30, 2021 at 12:12AM

I had been seeing this guy for almost two months when he said this to me. We never agreed to be in a committed relationship, but we sure acted like it. We would go on dates, hold hands and kiss in public, spend every weekend together, and hooked up a lot. All of a sudden, he tells me what is mentioned above in the title. I won’t lie, I kind of got mad and started to believe that he really was playing me. With that in mind, I hooked up with someone else that I met on Hinge. I recognize that this was likely just protest behavior on my part, and I didn’t really like the Hinge guy. Anyways, he found out and got really mad. He told me that he genuinely liked me and that I played him. He pulled that “we were working towards a relationship” argument at this point. He also called me all kinds of other names like “fake” and trashy. If you were in my shoes, would you believe him? Would you believe he genuinely wanted to date you? OR would you not believe a word he says and run?
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