I block when it comes to sex with people I genuinely have feelings for

I (29M) used to have quite an unhealthy relationship with sex from my early 20s until about now. I've been in a couple relationships but everytime one of them ended, I would struggle with the break up and find comfort in casual sex with strangers. This eventually got out of hands as I would sleep with someone different pretty much every 3 days, it's what made me feel like I was in control of at least one aspect in my life as I would struggle with every other aspect in my life (work stress, smoking too much weed, issues with friends etc.). I found comfort in one night stands but would always feel even more emotionally unstable the morning after. I eventually realised I might have a sex addiction.

6 months ago I moved countries as I needed to change my environment to emotionally fix myself and it worked. The issue is that in those 6 months I met a couple people that I really liked but I couldn't bring myself to have sex with them, I block. I feel it would be much easier sleeping with a stranger who I don't feel connected to, but when it comes to someone I develop feelings for, I do want to but also, something holds me back. I'm scared that I will never be able to unblock that side of things as I do want a healthy romantic/sexual relationship with someone.

So really, my question is, how do I fix that ?



Submitted November 07, 2021 at 12:45AM

I (29M) used to have quite an unhealthy relationship with sex from my early 20s until about now. I've been in a couple relationships but everytime one of them ended, I would struggle with the break up and find comfort in casual sex with strangers. This eventually got out of hands as I would sleep with someone different pretty much every 3 days, it's what made me feel like I was in control of at least one aspect in my life as I would struggle with every other aspect in my life (work stress, smoking too much weed, issues with friends etc.). I found comfort in one night stands but would always feel even more emotionally unstable the morning after. I eventually realised I might have a sex addiction.6 months ago I moved countries as I needed to change my environment to emotionally fix myself and it worked. The issue is that in those 6 months I met a couple people that I really liked but I couldn't bring myself to have sex with them, I block. I feel it would be much easier sleeping with a stranger who I don't feel connected to, but when it comes to someone I develop feelings for, I do want to but also, something holds me back. I'm scared that I will never be able to unblock that side of things as I do want a healthy romantic/sexual relationship with someone.So really, my question is, how do I fix that ?
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