I (21F) am sexually repulsed by my boyfriend (23M)

We've been dating for about a year, and most other things in our relationship are good.

Except sex. The sex we have is so awful I've literally been questioning if I'm asexual or something.

I had seen pictures before our first time, so I knew his penis wasn't the biggest beforehand. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. I have slept with guys who are on the smaller end in the past, and it was fine. In fact, my former FWB had a penis that was ~4.5 inches and I would consider him to be the best I've ever had.

When I saw it in person, I still thought it would be fine. I would say it's 3-4 inches, maybe 4.5 after I give him a lengthy blowjob. He's decently thick, so I figured that would make up for the length. I was wrong.

It's so small I can barely feel it inside of me.

You might be thinking of the age-old saying, "It's not the size! It's what you do with it!"

Well, what am I supposed to do if he has no idea what to with it AND it's basically a micro?

I don't think he really knows how to have sex. When he's fucking me, it's basically just him laying his whole body weight on top of me, shallowly thrusting to the point where I can barely feel it. Basically just jiggling it in and out of me. It's fucking horrible. He's a bit overweight so I think that might have something to do with it? Like, he just doesn't have any stamina. And he also doesn't have any real room to thrust because of the size. I've tried to describe to him how to properly fuck me and he just doesn't seem to get it.

My ex-FWB could literally fuck me until I was convulsing from orgasm, and now the only orgasms I have are between me and my vibrator.

But...probably the worst part about it is the moans. And the faces. His moans just sound...so unappealing for some reason. And the face he makes when hes enjoying himself just repels me.

It's pretty much gotten to the point where I am genuinely disgusted by the idea of having sex with him. When I do let him fuck me, it almost feels like I'm being assaulted or something, because I just do not enjoy it at all. I basically just dissociate until its over.

I have tried to incorporate different things, like sexting, into our relationship. He wasn't really into it. Even though we have very similar kinks, his small dick and poor technique are such a turn off that no amount of spanking, choking, hair pulling, et. al could make up for it.

What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm at a loss here. He seems content to just continue with the way things have been. I've tried a few things, even tried to explain to him how I want to be fucked, but everything is still the same. Even if he magically became amazing at sex, I don't know if I could get past the repulsion and actually enjoy it. Is this relationship just a lost cause?



Submitted November 10, 2021 at 12:50AM

We've been dating for about a year, and most other things in our relationship are good.Except sex. The sex we have is so awful I've literally been questioning if I'm asexual or something.I had seen pictures before our first time, so I knew his penis wasn't the biggest beforehand. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. I have slept with guys who are on the smaller end in the past, and it was fine. In fact, my former FWB had a penis that was ~4.5 inches and I would consider him to be the best I've ever had.When I saw it in person, I still thought it would be fine. I would say it's 3-4 inches, maybe 4.5 after I give him a lengthy blowjob. He's decently thick, so I figured that would make up for the length. I was wrong.It's so small I can barely feel it inside of me.You might be thinking of the age-old saying, "It's not the size! It's what you do with it!"Well, what am I supposed to do if he has no idea what to with it AND it's basically a micro?I don't think he really knows how to have sex. When he's fucking me, it's basically just him laying his whole body weight on top of me, shallowly thrusting to the point where I can barely feel it. Basically just jiggling it in and out of me. It's fucking horrible. He's a bit overweight so I think that might have something to do with it? Like, he just doesn't have any stamina. And he also doesn't have any real room to thrust because of the size. I've tried to describe to him how to properly fuck me and he just doesn't seem to get it.My ex-FWB could literally fuck me until I was convulsing from orgasm, and now the only orgasms I have are between me and my vibrator.But...probably the worst part about it is the moans. And the faces. His moans just sound...so unappealing for some reason. And the face he makes when hes enjoying himself just repels me.It's pretty much gotten to the point where I am genuinely disgusted by the idea of having sex with him. When I do let him fuck me, it almost feels like I'm being assaulted or something, because I just do not enjoy it at all. I basically just dissociate until its over.I have tried to incorporate different things, like sexting, into our relationship. He wasn't really into it. Even though we have very similar kinks, his small dick and poor technique are such a turn off that no amount of spanking, choking, hair pulling, et. al could make up for it.What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm at a loss here. He seems content to just continue with the way things have been. I've tried a few things, even tried to explain to him how I want to be fucked, but everything is still the same. Even if he magically became amazing at sex, I don't know if I could get past the repulsion and actually enjoy it. Is this relationship just a lost cause?
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