First time online dating advice

Hello all. I met this girl online while playing valorant about 5 months ago. We hit it off and got along really well. We played and talked almost every day since meeting.

I would open up to her a bunch. Showed her pictures, I would turn on my camera while we talk on discord, talked about school and life in general, and much more. However, although she’s very inviting, warm and friendly to me, she never has opened up to me as much. But this wasn’t really an issue for me since things were platonic at the time.

Fast forward to about two months after meeting, she admitted that she’s really been enjoying our time together and she has feelings for me. As the title suggests, I’m not one to develop feelings for someone online. All my previous relationships have been in person and this was new for me. But a few days later, I realized that I may feel the same way.

We’ve been talking more romantically for about 3 months since, and she’s a great girl. Funny, kind, really good at the game, and just really likable. However the problem remains that she will not open up to me. To this day, I have no clue as to what she looks like, I dont know where she goes to school, I dont know what city she lives in (just what state), is very reluctant to meet (although we live 3 hours apart, an easy drive for either of us) and I dont even know her last name. In her defense this is after all online and very scary for her. As for why I haven’t seen what she looks like, she says that I am out of her league and I will lose feelings once I do see.

I’ve tried everything possible to reassure her that I won’t leave once she shows what she looks like. I’ve also tried to reassure her many times that I am not a creep/psycho that will stalk her once she opens up. I’ve been very patient with her. However I’m starting to pull away now because of this. It feels like I’m falling for someone that I dont even know and I dont like that. So I guess I’m seeking advice on what to do/say to her that will help her to open up. Because I’d hate to lose her because of reasons like this. Thanks guys!



Submitted November 10, 2021 at 12:15AM

Hello all. I met this girl online while playing valorant about 5 months ago. We hit it off and got along really well. We played and talked almost every day since meeting.I would open up to her a bunch. Showed her pictures, I would turn on my camera while we talk on discord, talked about school and life in general, and much more. However, although she’s very inviting, warm and friendly to me, she never has opened up to me as much. But this wasn’t really an issue for me since things were platonic at the time.Fast forward to about two months after meeting, she admitted that she’s really been enjoying our time together and she has feelings for me. As the title suggests, I’m not one to develop feelings for someone online. All my previous relationships have been in person and this was new for me. But a few days later, I realized that I may feel the same way.We’ve been talking more romantically for about 3 months since, and she’s a great girl. Funny, kind, really good at the game, and just really likable. However the problem remains that she will not open up to me. To this day, I have no clue as to what she looks like, I dont know where she goes to school, I dont know what city she lives in (just what state), is very reluctant to meet (although we live 3 hours apart, an easy drive for either of us) and I dont even know her last name. In her defense this is after all online and very scary for her. As for why I haven’t seen what she looks like, she says that I am out of her league and I will lose feelings once I do see.I’ve tried everything possible to reassure her that I won’t leave once she shows what she looks like. I’ve also tried to reassure her many times that I am not a creep/psycho that will stalk her once she opens up. I’ve been very patient with her. However I’m starting to pull away now because of this. It feels like I’m falling for someone that I dont even know and I dont like that. So I guess I’m seeking advice on what to do/say to her that will help her to open up. Because I’d hate to lose her because of reasons like this. Thanks guys!
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