confused about if it was a date or not

I (23F) matched with someone (24M) (call them X) a few years ago in undergrad on tinder, talked briefly, but then stopped talking to them on the app for reasons i can’t recall (pretty sure it was nerves or because i just started seeing someone somewhat more seriously). had nothing to do with who x is as a person though i’m just shy. fast forward a few years and i find out they’re going to grad school at the same place i am, think about reaching out and apologizing even though it wasn’t that big of a deal but decide against it. a friend of mine here (Y) coincidentally becomes friends with x, and they mention to them that they saw that i was in town. Y messages me and asks if he can give X my phone number and tell him to go ahead. we talk for a couple weeks and get coffee, and talked about maybe going to a brewery or something. i think both of us had a good time but i thought about and i don’t think it was explicitly stated if it was a date or not. on one hand, we had previously matched on tinder and X was actively using the app earlier in the semester. but on the other hand i had to ask to go out both times (which could just be due to shyness or busyness). do i ask them next time we do something together? do i ask them before? or do i just assume it’s a date unless proven otherwise? i just don’t want to do anything to make x uncomfortable

Submitted November 21, 2021 at 12:10AM

I (23F) matched with someone (24M) (call them X) a few years ago in undergrad on tinder, talked briefly, but then stopped talking to them on the app for reasons i can’t recall (pretty sure it was nerves or because i just started seeing someone somewhat more seriously). had nothing to do with who x is as a person though i’m just shy. fast forward a few years and i find out they’re going to grad school at the same place i am, think about reaching out and apologizing even though it wasn’t that big of a deal but decide against it. a friend of mine here (Y) coincidentally becomes friends with x, and they mention to them that they saw that i was in town. Y messages me and asks if he can give X my phone number and tell him to go ahead. we talk for a couple weeks and get coffee, and talked about maybe going to a brewery or something. i think both of us had a good time but i thought about and i don’t think it was explicitly stated if it was a date or not. on one hand, we had previously matched on tinder and X was actively using the app earlier in the semester. but on the other hand i had to ask to go out both times (which could just be due to shyness or busyness). do i ask them next time we do something together? do i ask them before? or do i just assume it’s a date unless proven otherwise? i just don’t want to do anything to make x uncomfortable