The girl (20F) I (20M) am dating got kissed by an old crush and things got complicated

Hello, thanks for reading my post. I hope you are having a great day.

Effectively, as you read, the girl I am dating (not yet my girlfriend but on-wards to that) has been kissed, three days ago, by her old crush she could never have.

Our love story is somewhat spectacular. We met on the internet, we instantly felt connected with one another due to the massive similarities and particularities we share in common. Something none of us had had in the past in our previous relationships. We both come from toxic relationships we left this year.

It was 4 weeks ago when she, half-drunk, invited me to come over to her city (in which Ill live soon because of college), and I, half-drunk, accepted. It was something crazy because it was meeting, after having such an impressive connection, in real life for the first time.

We met, everything went amazing. We spent an entire day together, day and night, 24 hours. We walked all over Buenos Aires and slept together. It was, in her words, her best weekend in years.

She has written me letters, blogs, 4 songs, gifted me books, told about me to her parents (who automatically liked me, unlike her previous boyfriends), relatives, and friends. She is in love with me, and so I am with her.

Everything was going perfectly, no quarrels, no discussions. We share so many things in common: we like to read, history, geography, languages, journalism, music, etc, and none of her toxic boyfriends really cared about her past, something which I do. The things we share in common, and how I treat her explains why we are in love with one another. Things that her former boyfriends never accomplished.

Now, to the problem.

Three days ago, she went with her mom to her mom's best friend's house and met with her son. They were, as she said, alone, and this guy french kissed her, as she says, out of the blue, and then explained everything he feels for her. Now, she has always liked him since 14, even planned to lose her virginity with him (something that in the end never happened). After many things and time, they started to become distant, and he only reacted to her stories (and saw that she was dating me). This thing that happened, made her feel confused, made her be unsure of what she wants and how she feels about him. She loves me, but... although she hasn't said it, she loves this dude too. And even wrote a short text on her blog saying something like "Now there are no words left over. There are no doubts how I look at your eyes".

This is what happened and what's going on. She talked to her friends about it and opinions are split on what she should do (going with him or remaining with me), her mom (really close to her) wants her to remain with me, her uncle (also very close) hasn't really told her what she should do, if there is even something to "decide" or "do" because I think she should act on her feelings and not to "choose" as if I and him were on a catalog.

I, naturally, feel heartbroken. Everything was going so perfectly, but now, due to an external event, things got complicated. I fear she will choose him as he is her old crush she could never have in the past, but now can. I still await for her decision, which will take time, but... I don't wanna be a slave of her time, nor I want to be fooled. Btw, its the second time it happens to me in three months, so you might understand how I feel...

I decided I will wait, and let her take time, but everything is so different now... we barely talk... she gives me excuses to not to talk... she answers late... canceled coming her (after she realized she had an event...). I don't think she is lying, she is being pure honest, but I really hate this situation. I want to keep having a decent relationship, I mean, to talk, to watch movies together (as we do online) but now... It's impossible.

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What would you do in my situation? Do you think I should leave? Do you think I should wait and suffer until I see what she decides? Do you think I should stop caring about her? Do you think I am being fooled (which i don't think)?

Thanks for reading.

Submitted October 27, 2021 at 01:15AM

Hello, thanks for reading my post. I hope you are having a great day.Effectively, as you read, the girl I am dating (not yet my girlfriend but on-wards to that) has been kissed, three days ago, by her old crush she could never have.Our love story is somewhat spectacular. We met on the internet, we instantly felt connected with one another due to the massive similarities and particularities we share in common. Something none of us had had in the past in our previous relationships. We both come from toxic relationships we left this year.It was 4 weeks ago when she, half-drunk, invited me to come over to her city (in which Ill live soon because of college), and I, half-drunk, accepted. It was something crazy because it was meeting, after having such an impressive connection, in real life for the first time.We met, everything went amazing. We spent an entire day together, day and night, 24 hours. We walked all over Buenos Aires and slept together. It was, in her words, her best weekend in years.She has written me letters, blogs, 4 songs, gifted me books, told about me to her parents (who automatically liked me, unlike her previous boyfriends), relatives, and friends. She is in love with me, and so I am with her.Everything was going perfectly, no quarrels, no discussions. We share so many things in common: we like to read, history, geography, languages, journalism, music, etc, and none of her toxic boyfriends really cared about her past, something which I do. The things we share in common, and how I treat her explains why we are in love with one another. Things that her former boyfriends never accomplished.Now, to the problem.Three days ago, she went with her mom to her mom's best friend's house and met with her son. They were, as she said, alone, and this guy french kissed her, as she says, out of the blue, and then explained everything he feels for her. Now, she has always liked him since 14, even planned to lose her virginity with him (something that in the end never happened). After many things and time, they started to become distant, and he only reacted to her stories (and saw that she was dating me). This thing that happened, made her feel confused, made her be unsure of what she wants and how she feels about him. She loves me, but... although she hasn't said it, she loves this dude too. And even wrote a short text on her blog saying something like "Now there are no words left over. There are no doubts how I look at your eyes".This is what happened and what's going on. She talked to her friends about it and opinions are split on what she should do (going with him or remaining with me), her mom (really close to her) wants her to remain with me, her uncle (also very close) hasn't really told her what she should do, if there is even something to "decide" or "do" because I think she should act on her feelings and not to "choose" as if I and him were on a catalog.I, naturally, feel heartbroken. Everything was going so perfectly, but now, due to an external event, things got complicated. I fear she will choose him as he is her old crush she could never have in the past, but now can. I still await for her decision, which will take time, but... I don't wanna be a slave of her time, nor I want to be fooled. Btw, its the second time it happens to me in three months, so you might understand how I feel...I decided I will wait, and let her take time, but everything is so different now... we barely talk... she gives me excuses to not to talk... she answers late... canceled coming her (after she realized she had an event...). I don't think she is lying, she is being pure honest, but I really hate this situation. I want to keep having a decent relationship, I mean, to talk, to watch movies together (as we do online) but now... It's impossible.​What would you do in my situation? Do you think I should leave? Do you think I should wait and suffer until I see what she decides? Do you think I should stop caring about her? Do you think I am being fooled (which i don't think)?Thanks for reading.