Do I move on after continued boner problems since i’m not committed?

So, i have been talking to this guy for probably about 6 or 7 months. We are in what I would call a situationship, so we are not exclusive. Anyways in the past 3/4 months we have been talking everyday, sexting a bit and I have him over or hang out with him probably 2 or 3 times a month. We also work together and hang hang out with a group of coworkers occasionally. I would consider him a close friend.

So my issue is this… every time we have gotten to having sex- he can never get hard. Often there is some drinking involved- which probably accounts for some of the lack of erections. We’re going on probably 6 times of him not being able to get hard- which has ultimately killed off some of my confidence. I have thought about him possibly being closeted- but why even try multiple times? it’s not like he’s bragging about his sexual escapades with me. he does take care of himself and like some stereotypically feminine things- but not to the point that I thought he was gay before we became involved. He’s in his early 20s, handsome and we really get along- so it just leaves me more confused every time.

I always voice my disappointment and explain that it makes me very insecure- which i feel is valid. I think it would be even more hurtful if I acted like I didn’t care at all and was uninterested in him. He says that his problem is performance anxiety, that he doesn’t want to disappoint me again. He even went as far as to call his doctor and start taking the over the counter supplements they suggested. I just don’t know how to navigate the situation any further. Do i ask if he has the same problem with other girls ? Do I suggest he pop a viagra before he comes over? Do i just leave it alone and accept that he’s not into me or just not into women? I really don’t know. I just really like him and don’t understand why this is a continual problem…

Submitted October 27, 2021 at 12:01AM

So, i have been talking to this guy for probably about 6 or 7 months. We are in what I would call a situationship, so we are not exclusive. Anyways in the past 3/4 months we have been talking everyday, sexting a bit and I have him over or hang out with him probably 2 or 3 times a month. We also work together and hang hang out with a group of coworkers occasionally. I would consider him a close friend.So my issue is this… every time we have gotten to having sex- he can never get hard. Often there is some drinking involved- which probably accounts for some of the lack of erections. We’re going on probably 6 times of him not being able to get hard- which has ultimately killed off some of my confidence. I have thought about him possibly being closeted- but why even try multiple times? it’s not like he’s bragging about his sexual escapades with me. he does take care of himself and like some stereotypically feminine things- but not to the point that I thought he was gay before we became involved. He’s in his early 20s, handsome and we really get along- so it just leaves me more confused every time.I always voice my disappointment and explain that it makes me very insecure- which i feel is valid. I think it would be even more hurtful if I acted like I didn’t care at all and was uninterested in him. He says that his problem is performance anxiety, that he doesn’t want to disappoint me again. He even went as far as to call his doctor and start taking the over the counter supplements they suggested. I just don’t know how to navigate the situation any further. Do i ask if he has the same problem with other girls ? Do I suggest he pop a viagra before he comes over? Do i just leave it alone and accept that he’s not into me or just not into women? I really don’t know. I just really like him and don’t understand why this is a continual problem…