MY girlfriend's anxiety has destroyed our sex life.

This is part vent part advice seeking. I apologies if it is rambly and fragmented. It is also probably missing key info that I just can't remember or think to add. I just need someone to hear me. I also don't blame anything on her. I love her and she is my best friend and partner.

My GF(24F) and I (24M) basically never have sex anymore. We have been together for 5 years. The first year or two she was really nervous and basically did nothing but some teasing. That was fine because we were both our firsts and it wanted to go slow. We lived apart and I only saw her on weekends. Year 3 I had to work a night shift where I only had every other weekend off and saw her then. Sex was maybe every other time we saw each other.

Sometime around winter 2019 her existing condition of anxiety and depression took a turn for the worst. She has always been on medication and I pushed her to seek therapy and she did. Sex basically became non existent. Maybe sometimes I could ask she would. 2020 was even worse, she slipped further into depression and ended up in a ward voluntarily for about a week.

2021, after five years together I finally have a job to afford an apartment we can live together in. We talk about how little we've had sex and she says she will be better when we move in. We have been in the apartment for almost 3 months and she has not looked at me with desire but one time. I love her, but and really support her as much as I can, but I just don't know how much longer I can go without feeling someone wanting me.

For the record she is on ADHD, anti-anxiety, and depression medication and I know that affect it but she was on it since we started our relationship and only recently changed medication after she lost the desire. Can anyone share advice or insight how this can affect desire?

I just don't know where to go anymore. I really try to help her in every way I can to make her happy and comfortable.

Submitted October 08, 2021 at 12:47AM

This is part vent part advice seeking. I apologies if it is rambly and fragmented. It is also probably missing key info that I just can't remember or think to add. I just need someone to hear me. I also don't blame anything on her. I love her and she is my best friend and partner.My GF(24F) and I (24M) basically never have sex anymore. We have been together for 5 years. The first year or two she was really nervous and basically did nothing but some teasing. That was fine because we were both our firsts and it wanted to go slow. We lived apart and I only saw her on weekends. Year 3 I had to work a night shift where I only had every other weekend off and saw her then. Sex was maybe every other time we saw each other.Sometime around winter 2019 her existing condition of anxiety and depression took a turn for the worst. She has always been on medication and I pushed her to seek therapy and she did. Sex basically became non existent. Maybe sometimes I could ask she would. 2020 was even worse, she slipped further into depression and ended up in a ward voluntarily for about a week.2021, after five years together I finally have a job to afford an apartment we can live together in. We talk about how little we've had sex and she says she will be better when we move in. We have been in the apartment for almost 3 months and she has not looked at me with desire but one time. I love her, but and really support her as much as I can, but I just don't know how much longer I can go without feeling someone wanting me.For the record she is on ADHD, anti-anxiety, and depression medication and I know that affect it but she was on it since we started our relationship and only recently changed medication after she lost the desire. Can anyone share advice or insight how this can affect desire?I just don't know where to go anymore. I really try to help her in every way I can to make her happy and comfortable.