"Hey if you aren't really interested that's OK too"

I've been on a few dates lately off the dating apps where the energy felt good, conversation was solid but not exceptional, and there were a few small hiccups but in my mind they are first dates and hey it's tough to judge someone on one date alone. But the energy sort of goes out of the texting and the plans get a little harder to make so I've started taking to saying some variation of "Hey I enjoyed that date and would love to do XYZ if you're up for it, but if you're not feeling it that's OK too"

I have had situations like this in the past that will limp along for a month and then I will stop maintaining it and get a "what happened, I enjoyed our date" text like 2 months after the initial date. To me that's sort of lazy BS and my "if you're not feeling it" text is sort of an earlier watershed moment so we don't waste time if there isn't real interest. But I wanted to get Reddit's opinion on how often that might destroy the momentum of something with actual possibilities. All thoughts welcome!



Submitted October 05, 2021 at 01:03AM

I've been on a few dates lately off the dating apps where the energy felt good, conversation was solid but not exceptional, and there were a few small hiccups but in my mind they are first dates and hey it's tough to judge someone on one date alone. But the energy sort of goes out of the texting and the plans get a little harder to make so I've started taking to saying some variation of "Hey I enjoyed that date and would love to do XYZ if you're up for it, but if you're not feeling it that's OK too"I have had situations like this in the past that will limp along for a month and then I will stop maintaining it and get a "what happened, I enjoyed our date" text like 2 months after the initial date. To me that's sort of lazy BS and my "if you're not feeling it" text is sort of an earlier watershed moment so we don't waste time if there isn't real interest. But I wanted to get Reddit's opinion on how often that might destroy the momentum of something with actual possibilities. All thoughts welcome!
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