Am I over thinking this?

My girlfriend (33F) and I (31M) have a very close couple friends (32M and 33F) that we have known for a long time. Being that we are very close we have opened up talking about sex and exploring our sexuality so we created some sort of sex bucket list.

My buddy brought up couple swapping as the last thing on this list. We are very very close with them and very private so we decided let's talk more about it and discuss the rules to avoid any jealousy.

We talked about it for a few months so we decided let's do it by the end of this year. Well my buddy and I have discussed this when we are alone more often than our girls have.

About two weeks ago in preparation to get me horny my friend said he had a surprise for me. He pulled up his phone and basically showed me his girlfriend naked and doing sexual acts to herself. Then the unthinkable happened. As he was swiping the pictures he got to a video of him having sex with her and her going down on him afterwards.

My buddy is exactly my body structure. Same height, shoe size, hand size, etc and etc. In my head he more than likely was packing my same dick size. I know all that I mentioned has nothing to do with dick size but it was just a hunch (maybe my girl thinks the same as well). Well I was absolutely wrong. This dude has a big dick (didn't ask but it must've been easily around 8 inches and quite girthy). I have a solid average 5 incher and average girth. We have never ever in our discussions brought up dick size since we kept it more of kinks that we like and things we have done. I imagine my buddy (and his girl) maybe think I am built just like him. She was definitely more vocal in their sex act than my girl and I are.

My insecurities took full swing here. I can see it now...One my buddy will be in a awkward position being he is almost twice my size. Two his girl will definitely not be as enthusiastic as she is with her man. Three my girlfriend will also be put in the position of how to act so its not so noticeable. And last but not least I will simply feel....humiliated 😔. I simply told him "Man that is hot!" But my mind was already in full denial of this whole thing.

I decided not to go through with it because I was already breaking our number one rule....JEALOUSY. It would totally crush my ego if I see my lady enjoying his size compared to me. I didn't know what to do and how to get out of this since we constantly brought it up every time we would see each other.

So I inadvertently said the truth to the group yesterday. I never mentioned dick size or anything. I just mentioned that my concern if one of us gets jealous (ME) it might ruin our relationship and friendship with each other.

They just claimed this is why we set boundaries for this to go through and seemed bummed. My buddies girl said "well what if we fuck our partner in the same room and don't even touch each other?" I was in denial and simply said "we should just forget the whole thing".

On the way home my girl asked me what happened if even I was excited about it. I don't want to seem insecure to her and didn't tell her it is because I don't measure up as that would be embarrassing for me to say. I really want to do this and I absolutely know size doesn't matter when you know how to work with what God has given you so I don't know why I feel so insecure. I am not an insecure guy at all and know my skills but after watching that video of her reaction to him kind messed with my head.

Am I overthinking this scenario? Anyone ever been in this situation? If so how did it play out?

Tldr; planning a couple swap with my buddy, his girlfriend, and my girlfriend. My buddy showed me a video of him having sex with his girlfriend and it turns out he is practically twice my size and her reaction was nothing compared to the sex my girl and I have. Canceled the plans to swap and my girlfriend is asking why? Am I over thinking this?

Submitted October 03, 2021 at 12:51AM

My girlfriend (33F) and I (31M) have a very close couple friends (32M and 33F) that we have known for a long time. Being that we are very close we have opened up talking about sex and exploring our sexuality so we created some sort of sex bucket list.My buddy brought up couple swapping as the last thing on this list. We are very very close with them and very private so we decided let's talk more about it and discuss the rules to avoid any jealousy.We talked about it for a few months so we decided let's do it by the end of this year. Well my buddy and I have discussed this when we are alone more often than our girls have.About two weeks ago in preparation to get me horny my friend said he had a surprise for me. He pulled up his phone and basically showed me his girlfriend naked and doing sexual acts to herself. Then the unthinkable happened. As he was swiping the pictures he got to a video of him having sex with her and her going down on him afterwards.My buddy is exactly my body structure. Same height, shoe size, hand size, etc and etc. In my head he more than likely was packing my same dick size. I know all that I mentioned has nothing to do with dick size but it was just a hunch (maybe my girl thinks the same as well). Well I was absolutely wrong. This dude has a big dick (didn't ask but it must've been easily around 8 inches and quite girthy). I have a solid average 5 incher and average girth. We have never ever in our discussions brought up dick size since we kept it more of kinks that we like and things we have done. I imagine my buddy (and his girl) maybe think I am built just like him. She was definitely more vocal in their sex act than my girl and I are.My insecurities took full swing here. I can see it now...One my buddy will be in a awkward position being he is almost twice my size. Two his girl will definitely not be as enthusiastic as she is with her man. Three my girlfriend will also be put in the position of how to act so its not so noticeable. And last but not least I will simply feel....humiliated 😔. I simply told him "Man that is hot!" But my mind was already in full denial of this whole thing.I decided not to go through with it because I was already breaking our number one rule....JEALOUSY. It would totally crush my ego if I see my lady enjoying his size compared to me. I didn't know what to do and how to get out of this since we constantly brought it up every time we would see each other.So I inadvertently said the truth to the group yesterday. I never mentioned dick size or anything. I just mentioned that my concern if one of us gets jealous (ME) it might ruin our relationship and friendship with each other.They just claimed this is why we set boundaries for this to go through and seemed bummed. My buddies girl said "well what if we fuck our partner in the same room and don't even touch each other?" I was in denial and simply said "we should just forget the whole thing".On the way home my girl asked me what happened if even I was excited about it. I don't want to seem insecure to her and didn't tell her it is because I don't measure up as that would be embarrassing for me to say. I really want to do this and I absolutely know size doesn't matter when you know how to work with what God has given you so I don't know why I feel so insecure. I am not an insecure guy at all and know my skills but after watching that video of her reaction to him kind messed with my head.Am I overthinking this scenario? Anyone ever been in this situation? If so how did it play out?Tldr; planning a couple swap with my buddy, his girlfriend, and my girlfriend. My buddy showed me a video of him having sex with his girlfriend and it turns out he is practically twice my size and her reaction was nothing compared to the sex my girl and I have. Canceled the plans to swap and my girlfriend is asking why? Am I over thinking this?