Long term quasi-relationship..

This is my first time asking advice on here so I hope it comes out coherently enough!

I (f, 30) have been seeing my “boyfriend” (m, 31) for about 2 and a half years now. At first, I was crazy about him and he was excited too, but reluctant to get into a real relationship. Which broke my heart at the time! As we continued to hook up and spend time together, he eventually got up the courage to ask for an open relationship (his previous relationship ended bc of him bringing it up). This absolutely crushed me back then.

As time has gone on, we have found that we get along great, have so much fun together, but are too different to consider serious next steps. We have vastly different lifestyles, ideas about the future, communication styles and we do not disagree in a healthy way. Therefore, over the last year and after many talks with my boyfriend, I have started to go on dates to look for someone with more compatibility with me. I don’t want to be open ideally, I want to get married and have a kid! I also lead a much healthier and more well rounded lifestyle than my boyfriend.

All of that being said, I have yet to find someone who makes me laugh like he does and that I’m as wildly attracted to (our sex life is great). He also makes me really happy most of the time and I know that I wouldn’t be as happy without him. Also what if I never find great sex again! I also was single for a few years in a row in my twenties so I feel like I don’t need to soul search..

So do I stay with him until I find someone I could see myself with seriously (my bf does not want to be serious with me and commit fyi)?

Or do I break it off just to be sad and maybe not find this companionship again?

I don’t want to be 35 or 40 and in a quasi-serious relationship!

If you read this, thanks!!

Edit: I should add that we really love each other and consider each other one of our best friends!



Submitted September 09, 2021 at 01:05AM

This is my first time asking advice on here so I hope it comes out coherently enough!I (f, 30) have been seeing my “boyfriend” (m, 31) for about 2 and a half years now. At first, I was crazy about him and he was excited too, but reluctant to get into a real relationship. Which broke my heart at the time! As we continued to hook up and spend time together, he eventually got up the courage to ask for an open relationship (his previous relationship ended bc of him bringing it up). This absolutely crushed me back then.As time has gone on, we have found that we get along great, have so much fun together, but are too different to consider serious next steps. We have vastly different lifestyles, ideas about the future, communication styles and we do not disagree in a healthy way. Therefore, over the last year and after many talks with my boyfriend, I have started to go on dates to look for someone with more compatibility with me. I don’t want to be open ideally, I want to get married and have a kid! I also lead a much healthier and more well rounded lifestyle than my boyfriend.All of that being said, I have yet to find someone who makes me laugh like he does and that I’m as wildly attracted to (our sex life is great). He also makes me really happy most of the time and I know that I wouldn’t be as happy without him. Also what if I never find great sex again! I also was single for a few years in a row in my twenties so I feel like I don’t need to soul search..So do I stay with him until I find someone I could see myself with seriously (my bf does not want to be serious with me and commit fyi)?Or do I break it off just to be sad and maybe not find this companionship again?I don’t want to be 35 or 40 and in a quasi-serious relationship!If you read this, thanks!!Edit: I should add that we really love each other and consider each other one of our best friends!
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