Fair to Small to BIG same man and the confidence is circling the drain

Hello!

Alright y’all we had the big girl comment a few hours ago and that thread got shut down. More power to bb but it made me get to thinking—

My libido has taken a fucking free dive due to cancer treatment and medical menopause. I’ve gained over thirty pounds in the last year and lost all sexuality. I don’t even wanna look at myself— I don’t avoid it but a glimpse of picture leaves me shook by the difference.

In the six years I’ve been with my man things have been rocky for a plethora of reasons but here we are all those years later. However!

One thing I’ve always ‘banked’ on is our chemistry and how we groove. Well shit folks I haven’t wanted to get down for near 18 months. While in the beginning it was shock and understanding it’s beginning to wear me out— will I ever feel like myself again?

In our relationship I’ve gone from 175 to 190 to 153 to 160 back to base around 170 and now pushing 200— none of my wardrobe fits so I can’t even flex for myself. I lost all my hair, all over, and the drugs make me also lose my libido and any sex drive despite a mental desire so when I do try to engage the pain punishes me. I’m tighter than a preteen before tampons and dry as the Sahara despite being a squirter. I cant even get myself off. Oh lord.

However the main thing is— I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel myself, I feel so totally disengaged and disassociated with this meat suit that I can’t even imagine the moves I used to lay on him. I also know the weight is a problem— it only isn’t because of the conditions but when I’ve slid in the past facts where made known. So how do I connect sexually?

If you’ve been with a partner through thick and thin and thick again how did you reclaim the mojo? Yes the pun was intended because this thigh chafing mofo needs all the laughs she can get. I miss myself circa 2019 and this meat suit ain’t cutting it, the bank account ain’t funding it, and the bedroom is growing mold because of it!

Give me any and every morsel of advice I can cram in my brain cause my mouth is shut for business 🤦‍♀️



Submitted September 29, 2021 at 12:49AM

Hello!Alright y’all we had the big girl comment a few hours ago and that thread got shut down. More power to bb but it made me get to thinking—My libido has taken a fucking free dive due to cancer treatment and medical menopause. I’ve gained over thirty pounds in the last year and lost all sexuality. I don’t even wanna look at myself— I don’t avoid it but a glimpse of picture leaves me shook by the difference.In the six years I’ve been with my man things have been rocky for a plethora of reasons but here we are all those years later. However!One thing I’ve always ‘banked’ on is our chemistry and how we groove. Well shit folks I haven’t wanted to get down for near 18 months. While in the beginning it was shock and understanding it’s beginning to wear me out— will I ever feel like myself again?In our relationship I’ve gone from 175 to 190 to 153 to 160 back to base around 170 and now pushing 200— none of my wardrobe fits so I can’t even flex for myself. I lost all my hair, all over, and the drugs make me also lose my libido and any sex drive despite a mental desire so when I do try to engage the pain punishes me. I’m tighter than a preteen before tampons and dry as the Sahara despite being a squirter. I cant even get myself off. Oh lord.However the main thing is— I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel myself, I feel so totally disengaged and disassociated with this meat suit that I can’t even imagine the moves I used to lay on him. I also know the weight is a problem— it only isn’t because of the conditions but when I’ve slid in the past facts where made known. So how do I connect sexually?If you’ve been with a partner through thick and thin and thick again how did you reclaim the mojo? Yes the pun was intended because this thigh chafing mofo needs all the laughs she can get. I miss myself circa 2019 and this meat suit ain’t cutting it, the bank account ain’t funding it, and the bedroom is growing mold because of it!Give me any and every morsel of advice I can cram in my brain cause my mouth is shut for business 🤦‍♀️
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