/u/RBS3I on Relationship Anxiety

Let's start with the fact that Anxiety tends to be irrational, or totally out of proportion to the situation. As such, it is not something that can be easily controlled. Most of the time, people are taught to "manage" the response. The Anxiety is still present, the person just needs to "dial down" the response.

One coping method is routine. Develop a pattern of meeting, talking and interacting like during lock-down. Add a low key event, and if she should cancel, ask if she would like to reschedule, casually. During the next conversation, ask if there was something specific, or if it was just in the moment. As the two of you come to better understand what is hard for her, you can work on plans that will be "more her speed".

You may have to ask several times, until she really sees that you want to help, and are not pushing. It will take some time (she sounds like it is rather strong reactions, and not just to dating). Reassure her that the times she has to cancel are not really a big deal (well unless you went out and bought ticket that cost $50....). As she begins to feel more comfortable, and less pressed to do things, she will be more ready, and less likely to cancel, or more ready to tell you when she isn't.

Best of Luck.

August 04, 2021 at 11:16PM