Can’t find what I want in life/relationship because I reject most lifestyles around me?

So to save reading time I won’t go into so much of personal life and will try to keep it simple.

I’m 25, I graduated college last year, and am still trying hard to find my “place.” One thing I know about myself, though, is that when it comes to a relationship, I want something very specific and I only kind of found that once. I want to spend my life with a girl who is genuine, honest, serious, and committed. Who doesn’t go out, doesn’t party or drink regularly, isn’t in a “instant pleasure” mindset but who is in a long term fulfillment mindset like me. And who is more of an introvert like me. I had this once for a year and then it fell apart due to personal struggles I had and needed to fix, and I’m still not past that because it was what I wanted and I messed it up.

Ever since then I’ve been wrecked mentally because I hate so much of what I see around me. Guys and girls who just party, don’t take things too seriously. Most of the girls in my current environment are either the type from broken families and the type to date an average guy with a drug and alcohol problem, living in a shitty little apartment. Or they’re the type who go out and get shitfaced, living obnoxiously, wasting so much money and time, etc.

If you want to live that way, that’s fine, but I just don’t. I don’t drink, I don’t go out to bars or clubs, I hate that scene. I’m a pretty boring guy but I have my head set on more fulfilling things for me. I work out, play sports, I want to be my best, I’m professional and serious and like to enjoy deeper topics in life. And I want a girl who is just a “normal” girl who is serious and pure and loyal and who wants to do the life journey together, pushing each other to be better.

But I guess “normal” is different now because all around me all I see is people doing crappy things and I’m not attracted to that stuff. I just went with an acquaintance to Las Vegas because he invited me, and he’s here trying to get with hookers and stuff because both of his ex’s left him. And I’m just not into that at ALL. I don’t wanna hook up with escorts, man. I’m miserable being around this kind of lifestyle. I want to see the casinos and the sights in Vegas; wish I had a girl to just chill by the pool with and go workout. I’m not attracted to the party/drinking/escorts lifestyle one bit.

So I’m kinda venting but also asking if there’s anything I can do to meet higher quality people and girls. Because I work hard to be a high quality guy and I’m doing pretty well but have yet to really meet more people like that. It sucks that I haven’t found my “belonging.”

Even dating apps suck. Tinder is always mostly super low quality types of girls whose lifestyle I don’t share, bumble is barely alive. I’m trying Hinge and might have better experience there but we’ll see. Overall I’m just depressed and irritated at the inability to find the type of partner I want. I feel like it won’t happen because I reject so much of what’s around me. Should I just focus on myself and getting into a higher quality environment first and then see what comes along more naturally?

Submitted August 19, 2021 at 12:15AM

So to save reading time I won’t go into so much of personal life and will try to keep it simple.I’m 25, I graduated college last year, and am still trying hard to find my “place.” One thing I know about myself, though, is that when it comes to a relationship, I want something very specific and I only kind of found that once. I want to spend my life with a girl who is genuine, honest, serious, and committed. Who doesn’t go out, doesn’t party or drink regularly, isn’t in a “instant pleasure” mindset but who is in a long term fulfillment mindset like me. And who is more of an introvert like me. I had this once for a year and then it fell apart due to personal struggles I had and needed to fix, and I’m still not past that because it was what I wanted and I messed it up.Ever since then I’ve been wrecked mentally because I hate so much of what I see around me. Guys and girls who just party, don’t take things too seriously. Most of the girls in my current environment are either the type from broken families and the type to date an average guy with a drug and alcohol problem, living in a shitty little apartment. Or they’re the type who go out and get shitfaced, living obnoxiously, wasting so much money and time, etc.If you want to live that way, that’s fine, but I just don’t. I don’t drink, I don’t go out to bars or clubs, I hate that scene. I’m a pretty boring guy but I have my head set on more fulfilling things for me. I work out, play sports, I want to be my best, I’m professional and serious and like to enjoy deeper topics in life. And I want a girl who is just a “normal” girl who is serious and pure and loyal and who wants to do the life journey together, pushing each other to be better.But I guess “normal” is different now because all around me all I see is people doing crappy things and I’m not attracted to that stuff. I just went with an acquaintance to Las Vegas because he invited me, and he’s here trying to get with hookers and stuff because both of his ex’s left him. And I’m just not into that at ALL. I don’t wanna hook up with escorts, man. I’m miserable being around this kind of lifestyle. I want to see the casinos and the sights in Vegas; wish I had a girl to just chill by the pool with and go workout. I’m not attracted to the party/drinking/escorts lifestyle one bit.So I’m kinda venting but also asking if there’s anything I can do to meet higher quality people and girls. Because I work hard to be a high quality guy and I’m doing pretty well but have yet to really meet more people like that. It sucks that I haven’t found my “belonging.”Even dating apps suck. Tinder is always mostly super low quality types of girls whose lifestyle I don’t share, bumble is barely alive. I’m trying Hinge and might have better experience there but we’ll see. Overall I’m just depressed and irritated at the inability to find the type of partner I want. I feel like it won’t happen because I reject so much of what’s around me. Should I just focus on myself and getting into a higher quality environment first and then see what comes along more naturally?