/u/Planklength on Is “ace panic” a thing?

It is understandable that you feel anxious when you are put on the spot, or if you struggle with intrusive thoughts. If you feel you are panicking, you could try to practice using grounding exersizes (https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques.pdf has some examples). I found the 5-4-3-2-1 technique helpful, personally.

I know that it can feel like queer people have to constantly be vigilant about their own identities, but there's nothing wrong with continuing to explore your own identity. It's not a bad thing if you enjoyed the kiss, it doesn't make you a worse asexual. It wouldn't even be a bad thing if you someday discovered that you experience attraction-- learning more about yourself is not a bad thing.

It sounds like your friend is very important and close to you, and he might be a valuable source of support. Maybe try talking with him about how the kiss made you feel, if you feel comfortable with that. There's also nothing wrong with asking him to just be friends. I can't promise how he will react to that, but if he is that close to you, I hope that he is helpful and respectful of your desires. At any rate after you talk to him, you will know more about what your relationship going forward will be like. Knowing that will be better for you than worrying about it.

Also, I do not wish to make you feel bad, but I feel that I should mention I dislike the term "ace panic." It reminds me of the "trans panic" defense, which has historically protected people who have done horrible things to trans people.





July 07, 2021 at 11:54PM
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