/u/Thornescape on Questioning my sexuality

Asexuality is very specifically about experiencing sexual attraction towards others. That's the entire deal. If you don't experience sexual attraction towards others, you're asexual. It's not really all that complicated, really.

Asexuality has nothing to do with: romantic attraction, masturbation, porn, kinks, or actually having sex. It's just about sexual attraction towards others.

The asexual spectrum basically sort of goes
1. Repulsed by comments about sex or others having sex
2. Repulsed by the reality of having sex personally
3. Willing to have sex, but maybe disgusted afterwards
4. Neutral towards sex, but no sexual attraction
5. Enjoy pleasing partner, but no sexual attraction
6. Occasional sexual attraction, but rarely (grey-asexual)
7. Demisexual is entirely different. Demis function like asexuals until they have a particular emotional connection with someone, after which they function like allosexuals with that person.

#1-3 are considered "sex repulsed asexual", and they typically do not enjoy sex if they have it. People #4 and down may situationally enjoy sex, despite a lack of sexual attraction towards others.

You sound like you fit #1, and that you experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction. If you do start a relationship, it's important to communicate this to your partner. More people want sex than don't, it's very true, so you are looking for someone exceptional instead. Yes, there are asexuals or even allosexuals who have healthy relationships with sex repulsed asexuals.





February 17, 2021 at 11:48PM
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