/u/social_chrysalis on ace people who feel romantic attraction pls help

This isn't advice, but I'm just sharing with you how I my feelings have changed. As a middle-aged person I have lots of friends that are married. These people... are not soulmates living happily ever after. Everyone has the choice to either stay together even though it sucks a lot of the time, or split because it sucks a lot of the time. I have chose to split twice. I don't have it in me. The great majority of people that stay together are just making a very hard choice to do so, for personal reasons. They have joy, but they have lots of sorrow and stress, too. Romance is absolutely wonderful but it is not something that will last happily ever once you find the right person. It is a rare sheer dumb luck when that happens. It's not the norm. You aren't going to miss out on it because you are ace. You'll miss out on it because it's not real for most people.

Editing to add that my point is, you absolutely can have a long term forever relationship as an ace person. You will find somebody who is willing to give it a try, and if you two commit to it and stick it out, you will have that. It will be hard for a lot of reasons, your asexuality being one of them, possibly, but not the cause of its imperfection. All relationships are imperfect and hard.





January 17, 2021 at 11:18PM

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