/u/AMarmaladeSandwich on Questions on "sexual desire" and the boundaries of the label of asexuality.

It’s not the best terminology, I’ll admit. Still, we’ll try and work with what we’ve got. So, first bit. - When I say cognitive process it’s because I screwed up and what I actually mean is conscious process. Oh well, word mix up are how we got here in the first place right?

So to reiterate, you can want to have sex (be horny, feel desire for sexual activity,) and you can want have sex with someone and become aroused by them specifically (sexually attracted to them). So that’s the difference, it’s between wanting the person, or wanting the activity. For ease, just Chuck out the phrase sexual desire and use libido instead, they’re talking about the same thing.

The cognitive/conscious thing is about how you said you do feel innate, subconscious desire for a person, but you don’t see yourself having sex with them because of what appears to be some form of sex repulsion, forgive me if I’m wrong there. So you do sound like you feel sexual attraction, it’s just that you consciously decide not to pursue it based on your reasoning (I don’t want sex because I don’t fancy it as an activity).

Is that making any sense? I don’t know if I’ve got the right end of the stick because I can’t know precisely what you’re feeling during these times. Again this make no different on how you identify, that remains your choice.

January 12, 2021 at 12:00AM