Jealous of my sister in law

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now, and just recently we’ve been spending more time with his sister and her boyfriend who have been dating for 10 years (we’re all around 24/23 years). My boyfriend has been off work for a while now and his sister has a lot of time off because she study’s and works part time so they spend a lot of time together. We didn’t initially get on at the start, she’s the youngest of the family, and quite spoilt. If there’s an issue she’s always in the right, so there’s no real point in arguing/talking with her. If she’s got an issue with me, she goes straight to my boyfriend and will say ‘oh she didn’t reply to my Snapchat’ or ‘what was wrong with her she seemed really grumpy’....

I get really annoyed because I have to work, and they go off and do things together like go shopping or go for walks or to appointments while I’m at work. My boyfriend never really lets me know what he’s doing but he might send a snap now and again but to our family group chat. We send the occasional message during the day but tend to catch up when we’re both home together. I feel like she has kind of replaced me in the sense that those would be the things I’d normally do with him but now that he can go during the week he plans it with her.

On the weekends we tend to spend most of the time with them as well. My boyfriend always says that he “spends every night with me, so that’s enough” we rarely do anything just the two of us..

I also feel like she tries to make me feel jealous or left out of things. She tries to team up with my boyfriend during activities we go out and do, and she’ll make jokes about me and my boyfriend tends to side with her on the jokes. But when I make jokes at her they turn it around or my boyfriend doesn’t side with me, or puts it back on me.

I’ve tried to mention it to my boyfriend but he just gets annoyed and says I cry about nothing and make everything negative.

The other day she said to my boyfriend “I thought you said if she does that again, you’d break up with her” and it left me feeling really off, like the tone that she said it with made me feel like she really doesn’t like me. I didn’t bring it up to my boyfriend because I didn’t want to bring up another drama. But it’s really affected me.

I’m loathe to bring up anything more to him, because I don’t want to come off as negative and put a strain on my relationship with him. I feel like he’ll just choose her more because that relationship is “easier to deal with”

I just don’t know how to react anymore... Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Submitted November 17, 2020 at 11:40PM

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now, and just recently we’ve been spending more time with his sister and her boyfriend who have been dating for 10 years (we’re all around 24/23 years). My boyfriend has been off work for a while now and his sister has a lot of time off because she study’s and works part time so they spend a lot of time together. We didn’t initially get on at the start, she’s the youngest of the family, and quite spoilt. If there’s an issue she’s always in the right, so there’s no real point in arguing/talking with her. If she’s got an issue with me, she goes straight to my boyfriend and will say ‘oh she didn’t reply to my Snapchat’ or ‘what was wrong with her she seemed really grumpy’....I get really annoyed because I have to work, and they go off and do things together like go shopping or go for walks or to appointments while I’m at work. My boyfriend never really lets me know what he’s doing but he might send a snap now and again but to our family group chat. We send the occasional message during the day but tend to catch up when we’re both home together. I feel like she has kind of replaced me in the sense that those would be the things I’d normally do with him but now that he can go during the week he plans it with her.On the weekends we tend to spend most of the time with them as well. My boyfriend always says that he “spends every night with me, so that’s enough” we rarely do anything just the two of us..I also feel like she tries to make me feel jealous or left out of things. She tries to team up with my boyfriend during activities we go out and do, and she’ll make jokes about me and my boyfriend tends to side with her on the jokes. But when I make jokes at her they turn it around or my boyfriend doesn’t side with me, or puts it back on me.I’ve tried to mention it to my boyfriend but he just gets annoyed and says I cry about nothing and make everything negative.The other day she said to my boyfriend “I thought you said if she does that again, you’d break up with her” and it left me feeling really off, like the tone that she said it with made me feel like she really doesn’t like me. I didn’t bring it up to my boyfriend because I didn’t want to bring up another drama. But it’s really affected me.I’m loathe to bring up anything more to him, because I don’t want to come off as negative and put a strain on my relationship with him. I feel like he’ll just choose her more because that relationship is “easier to deal with”I just don’t know how to react anymore... Any advice would be greatly appreciated