My (24M) girlfriend (23F) of 4 years still doesn’t want to go all the way in terms of sex. I feel like a pig because I want to explore more.

Our relationship is great and we have a lot of “sex.” Neither of us had any partners before; we are each other’s first. But every time I want to go all the way she says no (I’ll emphasize more). Also, she doesn’t feel comfortable undressing completely so she always has a shirt and booty shorts on during “sex” and prefers the dark. I admire her body, I tell her this so much. I feel like she’s afraid I’ll be disgusted but she’s wrong. No matter how i try to comfort her that her body is sexy, she still isn’t comfortable.

I’m afraid to tell her that I enjoy our sex life but it’s gotten bland because we’re stuck to a routine. Same thing every time and she’s gotten comfortable with it because it’s fast and we both get our release.

She says no to full sex because she wants it to happen in the moment. I feel it’s a bit ridiculous and when I think about it, it’s almost like I don’t arouse her enough for her to want to go the full way so it’s kind of sad. :(

She assures me that she does want to have sex but at the right time (she’s not religious). And I’ve discussed with her on different occasions about this same thing but it’s the same answer every time.

I don’t want to bring it up again because I feel like I might just guilt her into doing it. And that’s not very ideal. But if I don’t express how I feel, then I’m stuck in a unsatisfying sex life. I feel bad to even call it that; it makes me feel like a pig. I sort of feel like the one in the wrong because I’m a guy who is asking for more in terms of sex. All this makes it hard to re-open this discussion with my girlfriend.

How should I go about expressing my thoughts to my girlfriend?

Submitted October 10, 2020 at 12:38AM

Our relationship is great and we have a lot of “sex.” Neither of us had any partners before; we are each other’s first. But every time I want to go all the way she says no (I’ll emphasize more). Also, she doesn’t feel comfortable undressing completely so she always has a shirt and booty shorts on during “sex” and prefers the dark. I admire her body, I tell her this so much. I feel like she’s afraid I’ll be disgusted but she’s wrong. No matter how i try to comfort her that her body is sexy, she still isn’t comfortable.I’m afraid to tell her that I enjoy our sex life but it’s gotten bland because we’re stuck to a routine. Same thing every time and she’s gotten comfortable with it because it’s fast and we both get our release.She says no to full sex because she wants it to happen in the moment. I feel it’s a bit ridiculous and when I think about it, it’s almost like I don’t arouse her enough for her to want to go the full way so it’s kind of sad. :(She assures me that she does want to have sex but at the right time (she’s not religious). And I’ve discussed with her on different occasions about this same thing but it’s the same answer every time.I don’t want to bring it up again because I feel like I might just guilt her into doing it. And that’s not very ideal. But if I don’t express how I feel, then I’m stuck in a unsatisfying sex life. I feel bad to even call it that; it makes me feel like a pig. I sort of feel like the one in the wrong because I’m a guy who is asking for more in terms of sex. All this makes it hard to re-open this discussion with my girlfriend.How should I go about expressing my thoughts to my girlfriend?