Am I being too picky?

So as the typical disclaimer for these types of posts, I would consider myself an above average girl. I'm in my early 20s, studying to become a doctor, good with hair/makeup/clothes/etc. and I'm slender and have a healthy lifestyle. Looks-wise I would say I'm probably in the 7-8 range. However I have been on quite a few online dates and the only guys who seem to be interested in me are guys I would never consider dating. Aka guys I am definitely not physically attracted to, or guys who have red flags like no job/education or drug use, etc. They tend to put me on a pedestal and often badger me if I want to go on another date with them, etc. Plus I feel like they are sometimes only into me because of their lack of other options, not because I would actually be their first choice. Meanwhile the guys who I would say are within my league (also in the 7-8 range) are more wishy-washy. They're always semi-interested, open to a second date with me but they don't actively pursue me like the other guys do. It's kind of like if I fall into their lap, they'll take it, but it's no big deal to them if they don't end up with me.

I have only had one long term relationship and it was with a guy I was not initially attracted to. Even though it lasted 3 years I was inexperienced then and thought that I couldn't do better even though there were many incompatibilities. So I felt stuck and it ended up being an unfulfilling relationship, and I guess I want to avoid that by only dating a guy that I am initially excited to date instead of having someone "grow on me." I don't know if I'm being too picky and/or maybe just delusional about my league. Is it reasonable for me to want to date a guy in my league, or will I just be waiting forever if I don't settle for someone?



Submitted October 27, 2020 at 12:01AM

So as the typical disclaimer for these types of posts, I would consider myself an above average girl. I'm in my early 20s, studying to become a doctor, good with hair/makeup/clothes/etc. and I'm slender and have a healthy lifestyle. Looks-wise I would say I'm probably in the 7-8 range. However I have been on quite a few online dates and the only guys who seem to be interested in me are guys I would never consider dating. Aka guys I am definitely not physically attracted to, or guys who have red flags like no job/education or drug use, etc. They tend to put me on a pedestal and often badger me if I want to go on another date with them, etc. Plus I feel like they are sometimes only into me because of their lack of other options, not because I would actually be their first choice. Meanwhile the guys who I would say are within my league (also in the 7-8 range) are more wishy-washy. They're always semi-interested, open to a second date with me but they don't actively pursue me like the other guys do. It's kind of like if I fall into their lap, they'll take it, but it's no big deal to them if they don't end up with me.I have only had one long term relationship and it was with a guy I was not initially attracted to. Even though it lasted 3 years I was inexperienced then and thought that I couldn't do better even though there were many incompatibilities. So I felt stuck and it ended up being an unfulfilling relationship, and I guess I want to avoid that by only dating a guy that I am initially excited to date instead of having someone "grow on me." I don't know if I'm being too picky and/or maybe just delusional about my league. Is it reasonable for me to want to date a guy in my league, or will I just be waiting forever if I don't settle for someone?
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