Men in your 30's...honest thoughts on this...

Had posted elsewhere but want mens honest opinions...

I houseshared with a guy 3 years ago. He moved home - 2 hours away. Both work 5/6 day weeks but kept in contact & met each month for dinner, stayed in a nice hotel, spent the next day together etc. Conversation, chemistry were great, he'd always thank me & contact to see if I got home safe etc. He came to visit me a few times, met my family. We had a few minor rows in the 3 years, I always got back in contact first but they were never over big things. He can be stubborn but is also shy, deep & quite sensitive. I made more of an effort to be in contact but he was always happy to meet up etc when I asked. He asked my age when we met but I didn't answer. I knew he was younger and he knew i was older. It didn't come up again. He was single a year & had been hurt, he wasn't looking for a relationship when we met. I never pushed him.

This year, he contacted me more, acted like a boyfriend. I knew things were changing when he started planning things for our future. He visited me during covid, 1 night after a few beers, he told me he wanted a relationship, engagement, marriage, babies, build a house, a business etc. I had fallen, deep.

One night we were talking, I commented about age. He thought I was 37/38 but I was just turning 40. He is 32. (We weren't together for birthdays and neither are into celebrating them). He then said we have no future. I apologised profusely for not telling him, I honestly didn't think it was an issue. I made all the mistakes - cried, asked him to think about it, told him that I loved him etc.

He left & I text & asked could we talk/meet in a few weeks, he replied after a few days & said the age gap was always an issue for him & that blew it up for him. He now also blamed distance - he knew I was prepared to move to where he is from, we had discussed it. He said we would remain friends & move on.

So I went no contact. I reached out and got a few replies. He looked at my stories on Instagram & Facebook - where I'm dressed up/out/enjoying myself but never liked or commented on pictures. I text to ask him after a month. He told me and then told me he has started meeting someone. That was nearly 3 months after he dumped me. I fell apart. After a few days, I text to thank him for the happy memories & told him I now accept he is never coming back. I told him I needed to delete him from social media so I can move on. I wished him the best & he replied saying he hoped we can reconnect in time. (Is that just a polite way of ending text)?

I really saw a future with him & I do love him for him, he did have some great qualities and was always interested & supportive & remembered the small things. Any advice? Can I get him back if he ever ends the new relationship? I'm broken & my head is all over the place.

TL;DR We finally got together, he wanted marriage,  kids etc. but then said 8 years is too much of an age gap. He's with someone else less than 3 months after he dumped me.

Submitted August 18, 2020 at 09:32PM

Had posted elsewhere but want mens honest opinions...I houseshared with a guy 3 years ago. He moved home - 2 hours away. Both work 5/6 day weeks but kept in contact & met each month for dinner, stayed in a nice hotel, spent the next day together etc. Conversation, chemistry were great, he'd always thank me & contact to see if I got home safe etc. He came to visit me a few times, met my family. We had a few minor rows in the 3 years, I always got back in contact first but they were never over big things. He can be stubborn but is also shy, deep & quite sensitive. I made more of an effort to be in contact but he was always happy to meet up etc when I asked. He asked my age when we met but I didn't answer. I knew he was younger and he knew i was older. It didn't come up again. He was single a year & had been hurt, he wasn't looking for a relationship when we met. I never pushed him.This year, he contacted me more, acted like a boyfriend. I knew things were changing when he started planning things for our future. He visited me during covid, 1 night after a few beers, he told me he wanted a relationship, engagement, marriage, babies, build a house, a business etc. I had fallen, deep.One night we were talking, I commented about age. He thought I was 37/38 but I was just turning 40. He is 32. (We weren't together for birthdays and neither are into celebrating them). He then said we have no future. I apologised profusely for not telling him, I honestly didn't think it was an issue. I made all the mistakes - cried, asked him to think about it, told him that I loved him etc.He left & I text & asked could we talk/meet in a few weeks, he replied after a few days & said the age gap was always an issue for him & that blew it up for him. He now also blamed distance - he knew I was prepared to move to where he is from, we had discussed it. He said we would remain friends & move on.So I went no contact. I reached out and got a few replies. He looked at my stories on Instagram & Facebook - where I'm dressed up/out/enjoying myself but never liked or commented on pictures. I text to ask him after a month. He told me and then told me he has started meeting someone. That was nearly 3 months after he dumped me. I fell apart. After a few days, I text to thank him for the happy memories & told him I now accept he is never coming back. I told him I needed to delete him from social media so I can move on. I wished him the best & he replied saying he hoped we can reconnect in time. (Is that just a polite way of ending text)?I really saw a future with him & I do love him for him, he did have some great qualities and was always interested & supportive & remembered the small things. Any advice? Can I get him back if he ever ends the new relationship? I'm broken & my head is all over the place.TL;DR We finally got together, he wanted marriage,  kids etc. but then said 8 years is too much of an age gap. He's with someone else less than 3 months after he dumped me.