i cant make sense of his mixed signals?

hi this might be kind of long but i’ll try and summarise as best as i can. i (17f) have been friends with this boy (18m) since we were 13. we’ve always had a friendship that has had the potential to move into a relationship but there has always been things in the way etc. at one point of our friendship he treated me really badly and would say horrible things to me in order to impress other people. he did apologise but i just thought it was relevant. we go through phases of becoming more close in the “friendship”, talking everyday, seeing eachother more and things like that.

in november of 2018 we became extremely close and i actually told him that i liked him. he had just come out of a toxic relationship and didn’t want another relationship but insisted that he liked me and that if he did want to be with someone it would be me. at the same time he was going round another girls house and hooking up with her. i went round his house once while his parents were out and i gave him a blowjob. after that we weren’t as close anymore but still friends.

in june of this year, we started talking everyday but couldn’t see eachother due to lockdown. he told me that he liked me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me, and he apologised for all the bad things he used to do to me and took accountability for his actions. i told him it might take me time and that i find it hard to trust him. he said he understood, and he asked for us to meet in person and spend more time together. after this point i messaged him every other day asking to meet up and he would either leave me on delivered for hours or was busy. we also started talking less and less. this went on for a month. i was pretty confused so i asked him, and he just said he felt pressure but nothing had changed regarding his feelings, but i still felt he was being stand-offish. i left it and we didn’t speak for about 3 weeks.

a couple of weeks ago he messaged me at 3am saying “i miss you i think about you everyday” and he asked to see me. i said yes and we went for a drive and we sat in his car and spoke. we talked about everything and i truly love spending time with him, it doesn’t ever feel like that with anyone else. he told me still wanted to pursue a relationship but he finds it hard to message everyday. i said i didn’t mind that as long as i received a phone call or something like that. it was super nice and i felt like i could trust him and we were finally moving forward.

since then, he has not started the conversation with me first once. i don’t really mind starting it, but after a while you begin to think the person doesn’t actually want to speak to you. especially when they take hours and hours to reply. today, i messaged him at 5pm asking if he was free later on this evening. his location was on, and he went on snapchat multiple times and didn’t respond. at around 9pm i messaged him saying “i’m not trying to be annoying like it’s okay if you don’t wanna see me or ur busy like i’m not bothered you don’t have any obligation but if you’d rather me not ask etc just let me know as opposed to not responding for hours” and he only just replied at 12am. he said how could he have been ignoring me for hours bc he didn’t wanna see me when he didn’t even open the message? he obviously did the hack on snapchat where you can swipe to see half the message. i feel like he is going to spin it on me and make me out like i’m crazy and he’s innocent.

the only reason i’m still here is because i love spending time with him. i want intimacy and spending time with someone and i do enjoy and love it when we spend time together. what do i do? do i just cut him off? confront him? distance myself? i’m so confused.

Submitted August 26, 2020 at 12:15AM

hi this might be kind of long but i’ll try and summarise as best as i can. i (17f) have been friends with this boy (18m) since we were 13. we’ve always had a friendship that has had the potential to move into a relationship but there has always been things in the way etc. at one point of our friendship he treated me really badly and would say horrible things to me in order to impress other people. he did apologise but i just thought it was relevant. we go through phases of becoming more close in the “friendship”, talking everyday, seeing eachother more and things like that.in november of 2018 we became extremely close and i actually told him that i liked him. he had just come out of a toxic relationship and didn’t want another relationship but insisted that he liked me and that if he did want to be with someone it would be me. at the same time he was going round another girls house and hooking up with her. i went round his house once while his parents were out and i gave him a blowjob. after that we weren’t as close anymore but still friends.in june of this year, we started talking everyday but couldn’t see eachother due to lockdown. he told me that he liked me and wanted to pursue a relationship with me, and he apologised for all the bad things he used to do to me and took accountability for his actions. i told him it might take me time and that i find it hard to trust him. he said he understood, and he asked for us to meet in person and spend more time together. after this point i messaged him every other day asking to meet up and he would either leave me on delivered for hours or was busy. we also started talking less and less. this went on for a month. i was pretty confused so i asked him, and he just said he felt pressure but nothing had changed regarding his feelings, but i still felt he was being stand-offish. i left it and we didn’t speak for about 3 weeks.a couple of weeks ago he messaged me at 3am saying “i miss you i think about you everyday” and he asked to see me. i said yes and we went for a drive and we sat in his car and spoke. we talked about everything and i truly love spending time with him, it doesn’t ever feel like that with anyone else. he told me still wanted to pursue a relationship but he finds it hard to message everyday. i said i didn’t mind that as long as i received a phone call or something like that. it was super nice and i felt like i could trust him and we were finally moving forward.since then, he has not started the conversation with me first once. i don’t really mind starting it, but after a while you begin to think the person doesn’t actually want to speak to you. especially when they take hours and hours to reply. today, i messaged him at 5pm asking if he was free later on this evening. his location was on, and he went on snapchat multiple times and didn’t respond. at around 9pm i messaged him saying “i’m not trying to be annoying like it’s okay if you don’t wanna see me or ur busy like i’m not bothered you don’t have any obligation but if you’d rather me not ask etc just let me know as opposed to not responding for hours” and he only just replied at 12am. he said how could he have been ignoring me for hours bc he didn’t wanna see me when he didn’t even open the message? he obviously did the hack on snapchat where you can swipe to see half the message. i feel like he is going to spin it on me and make me out like i’m crazy and he’s innocent.the only reason i’m still here is because i love spending time with him. i want intimacy and spending time with someone and i do enjoy and love it when we spend time together. what do i do? do i just cut him off? confront him? distance myself? i’m so confused.