/u/8halahala on [META] Giving visibility to posts and comments made by sex-positive aces

Thank you for posting this because as a long-time lurker I had no idea to what OP was referring as it was (in my browsing) the lack of toxicity and the support/positivity of the community that encouraged me to post in this sub and on this thread and it was my own fear/anxiety/heavy aversion to toxicity that kept me from weighing in during round 1.

Particularly due to negative experiences I have had as someone who is aroace and whatever comes between sex-repulsed and sex-indifferent/neutral, the original post made me really uncomfortable at first because I thought wait this was supposed to be like exactly the place some of us can say silly things like haha so ew sex amirite without being ostracized or facing the acephobia/erasure we may experience elsewhere. Like so much of the world is sex-focused, come on.

After thinking about it and taking some time, I think my experience of how supportive (I have seen) the community to be and its openness, willingness to educate and engage with everyone whether sex-repulsed or sex-pos aces, grey, demi, allo heavily influenced my reaction and initial defensiveness.

Just as others have pointed out here and there, my personal experience doesn't mean that there aren't people who are toxic and disparaging towards SPAs. My experience no way invalidates other peoples' experience of toxicity.

The however-many-thousand likes made me nervous and I'm still not comfortable with framing the toxicity as endemic to the whole sub (as others in this thread and original have addressed) but even reading many of the posts and seeing the measured, open, and fair discussions that I associate with this sub, it just for me reiterated the tolerance and empathy that makes this a safe place for me. I hope that for those who were feeling excluded, these discussions and the subsequent sex-pos posts/inclusion will help them to feel more included, safe, and welcome as they should here





June 10, 2020 at 11:26PM
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