/u/Bwaiite on I hope nobody finds this offensive but would you date someone who isn't asexual but who is willing to repress their sexual desire?

Idk I think if they were like low sex drive already or not massively sex driven then I wouldn't feel too guilty. I don't want to deprive my partner of their needs you know?

I've only ever dated allos and always forced myself to have sex for their benefit which was stupid of me because I'm now mega repulsed.

Probs on a tangent a bit but I wanna whine: my last bf was lovely and we had such a wonderful relationship, after a year I finally realised I just couldn't take it any more and told him I hated sex (he didn't know I was ace because I'd been trying to make myself allo for like 5 years rip). We had such a caring, compassionate relationship so I explained it all expecting him to understand, which he kind of did. However, he told me I must have a hormone deficiency and said "a sexless relationship isn't what I signed up for". After a year of forcing myself to have sex for his benefit he wouldn't even give me time to work through the many different feelings I was suddenly realising and come to some kind of compromise, he just wanted me to be "fixed" (which in his mind was hormone pills (even though my drive is normal)). I ended the relationship after that comment because I felt like he wasn't able to understand or support me emotionally with finally accepting I'm ace.

Basically that's made me hesitant to date allos in future as even if they say no sex is ok, I guess ultimately it probably isn't and will cause a great strain on the relationship.





May 09, 2020 at 11:14PM
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