I really don't know how to make our sex life better

I don't know if I can describe my problem properly but I will try.

I have a problem with my boyfriend when it comes to our sex life. We do have sex (like once a week) and he even initiates sometimes, but he seems so passionless and doesn't really show that he desires me. Like during the day time he never touches me sexually, even our kisses are not passionate (we don't even french kiss anymore, just touching lips for a second with open eyes), when we cuddle It's also really affectionate but not sexy at all.

He said that sex is not so important for him. We usually have sex when he wants to please me (It's more important for him that I come than his own pleasure) or when he has erection out of nowhers so he kinda just wants to use that because he is hard already. He also asks me if I want to have sex out of nowhere and as casually as talking about the weather when we do something totally unrelated.

I don't understand that because we are together not that long (about a year) and he had ons in his past (so I assumed he had sex drive). He also masturbates sometimes. He says that I'm sexy and attractive but I just don't feel it at all. I do touch him sexually during the day time and try to kiss more passionately but it doesn't really work. Because of that my libido started to lower as well and I've never had this problem before. I really love him and I think he's a great boyfriend but I'm afraid that I will loose all interest in sex if nothing changes. What can I do in this situation?



Submitted April 01, 2020 at 12:24AM

I don't know if I can describe my problem properly but I will try.I have a problem with my boyfriend when it comes to our sex life. We do have sex (like once a week) and he even initiates sometimes, but he seems so passionless and doesn't really show that he desires me. Like during the day time he never touches me sexually, even our kisses are not passionate (we don't even french kiss anymore, just touching lips for a second with open eyes), when we cuddle It's also really affectionate but not sexy at all.He said that sex is not so important for him. We usually have sex when he wants to please me (It's more important for him that I come than his own pleasure) or when he has erection out of nowhers so he kinda just wants to use that because he is hard already. He also asks me if I want to have sex out of nowhere and as casually as talking about the weather when we do something totally unrelated.I don't understand that because we are together not that long (about a year) and he had ons in his past (so I assumed he had sex drive). He also masturbates sometimes. He says that I'm sexy and attractive but I just don't feel it at all. I do touch him sexually during the day time and try to kiss more passionately but it doesn't really work. Because of that my libido started to lower as well and I've never had this problem before. I really love him and I think he's a great boyfriend but I'm afraid that I will loose all interest in sex if nothing changes. What can I do in this situation?
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