How to handle different sexting ideals?

For a while I don't find myself initiating sexting with my finance only because I am more of a visual person, reading sexy messages after a while doesn't add fuel to the fire especially since she always wants to sext or steer conversations into sexual ones. We have talked about this many times throughout our relationship and in her previous relationship, she had sent explicit photos but didn't like the feeling of herself being leaked out like that. Of course, before we started dating I had a bit of a high school horndog phase where most of the women I flirted with or sexted always involved sending pictures back and forth of each other. Once my fiance started dating and become sexually active I yearned for the day she would send me explicit photos but that's when she told me she never would after she did it in her previous relationship. So in the meantime, we sext with words. There have been times where I was turned on by her words but that's once and a while, not every time she initiates the conversation. I know this makes me sound ungrateful and unappreciative but I love and appreciate my fiance's body especially when we are alone together I make that known. It becomes difficult to do when all we do is sext with words and not pictures, especially since I know I'd get riled up every time. I am very considerate of her perspective of why she doesn't want to but it's just hard for me to sext with only words after a while :/. Like I said I already sound selfish and unappreciative but with this whole crisis happening we decided to stop hanging out to prevent the spread of the illness and because my dad has many medical conditions that could put him at risk.

​

TL;DR: My girlfriend only likes sexting with words and I am starting to lose interest in that. She already told me she doesn't feel comfortable doing it and I've already tried adapting to just sexting with words but it's not the same without pictures being sent. I would love to hear from a woman's perspective on how I could sympathize with her or if others want to advise how I should approach this.



Submitted April 01, 2020 at 12:30AM

For a while I don't find myself initiating sexting with my finance only because I am more of a visual person, reading sexy messages after a while doesn't add fuel to the fire especially since she always wants to sext or steer conversations into sexual ones. We have talked about this many times throughout our relationship and in her previous relationship, she had sent explicit photos but didn't like the feeling of herself being leaked out like that. Of course, before we started dating I had a bit of a high school horndog phase where most of the women I flirted with or sexted always involved sending pictures back and forth of each other. Once my fiance started dating and become sexually active I yearned for the day she would send me explicit photos but that's when she told me she never would after she did it in her previous relationship. So in the meantime, we sext with words. There have been times where I was turned on by her words but that's once and a while, not every time she initiates the conversation. I know this makes me sound ungrateful and unappreciative but I love and appreciate my fiance's body especially when we are alone together I make that known. It becomes difficult to do when all we do is sext with words and not pictures, especially since I know I'd get riled up every time. I am very considerate of her perspective of why she doesn't want to but it's just hard for me to sext with only words after a while :/. Like I said I already sound selfish and unappreciative but with this whole crisis happening we decided to stop hanging out to prevent the spread of the illness and because my dad has many medical conditions that could put him at risk.​TL;DR: My girlfriend only likes sexting with words and I am starting to lose interest in that. She already told me she doesn't feel comfortable doing it and I've already tried adapting to just sexting with words but it's not the same without pictures being sent. I would love to hear from a woman's perspective on how I could sympathize with her or if others want to advise how I should approach this.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more