Misconception of male orgasms related to media

Hi everyone!

After recently taking a sexology course as an elective to my law major, I've stumbled across many biases, myths and misperceptions regarding sex. One that really stood out to me was the way that media has cultivated the way we view sex in regards to "performance" and things that "need to happen" in order for something to qualify as sex. Besides most heteronormative narratives regarding sex that mainstream media imposes upon us, leading many to believe that vaginal sex and penetration are the only "true" forms of sex, media's portrayal of (heterosexual) intercourse has distorted our expectations to such an extent that the way a lot of young people have sex, changes accordingly, too*.

After personally reviewing a few "classic" tween movies involving sex, I've come to the conclusion that many major (Hollywood) productions portray males as sexual beings who are not only always looking for and in the mood for sex, but can also reach orgasms extremely easily. On the other hand, especially in "earlier" productions, women are usually portrayed as "difficult" and "complicated" when it comes to pleasing them. In my personal experience, I used to believe that men could ejaculate extremely easily and remember feeling like I "failed" my first boyfriend whenever I wasn't able to make him come in less than five minutes, because of the way I thought men were "supposed to" have orgasms extremely easily and that I must have been doing something wrong.

I have discussed this experience with some of both my male and female friends and they have had similar experiences with this issue. One of my female friends actually recalled the same feeling of "failure" when she thought her ex was "taking too long" to reach climax and decided to engage in sexual intercourse with him despite not feeling ready, to "make up" for the fact that she could not make him come as easily as he "should have". Furthermore, I have spoken to some of my guy friends who have had experiences where they felt "pressured" to climax sooner by female partners who expected them to take less time, as well as those who thought something was wrong with them when they had sex for the first time and they didn't come as soon as most male movie/TV characters do when they lose their virginities. Moreso, I have had friends to whom I had to explain that it is perfectly normal for a guy not to be able to orgasm twice within a span of an hour, because he based most of his expectations upon porn and media portrayals of sex.

I was curious to know if anyone here has had similar experiences with this misconception of the male orgasm because of its portrayal in (especially late 90s and early 00s) mainstream media, where it lead to you either feeling pressured, disappointed or otherwise because of this media bias towards male ejaculation. I feel that, especially at a younger age, what you see in movies and TV shows severely impacts your future expectations, especially because at that point, it is most likely your only access to sexual content of some kind.

Submitted November 22, 2019 at 11:31PM

Hi everyone!After recently taking a sexology course as an elective to my law major, I've stumbled across many biases, myths and misperceptions regarding sex. One that really stood out to me was the way that media has cultivated the way we view sex in regards to "performance" and things that "need to happen" in order for something to qualify as sex. Besides most heteronormative narratives regarding sex that mainstream media imposes upon us, leading many to believe that vaginal sex and penetration are the only "true" forms of sex, media's portrayal of (heterosexual) intercourse has distorted our expectations to such an extent that the way a lot of young people have sex, changes accordingly, too*.After personally reviewing a few "classic" tween movies involving sex, I've come to the conclusion that many major (Hollywood) productions portray males as sexual beings who are not only always looking for and in the mood for sex, but can also reach orgasms extremely easily. On the other hand, especially in "earlier" productions, women are usually portrayed as "difficult" and "complicated" when it comes to pleasing them. In my personal experience, I used to believe that men could ejaculate extremely easily and remember feeling like I "failed" my first boyfriend whenever I wasn't able to make him come in less than five minutes, because of the way I thought men were "supposed to" have orgasms extremely easily and that I must have been doing something wrong.I have discussed this experience with some of both my male and female friends and they have had similar experiences with this issue. One of my female friends actually recalled the same feeling of "failure" when she thought her ex was "taking too long" to reach climax and decided to engage in sexual intercourse with him despite not feeling ready, to "make up" for the fact that she could not make him come as easily as he "should have". Furthermore, I have spoken to some of my guy friends who have had experiences where they felt "pressured" to climax sooner by female partners who expected them to take less time, as well as those who thought something was wrong with them when they had sex for the first time and they didn't come as soon as most male movie/TV characters do when they lose their virginities. Moreso, I have had friends to whom I had to explain that it is perfectly normal for a guy not to be able to orgasm twice within a span of an hour, because he based most of his expectations upon porn and media portrayals of sex.I was curious to know if anyone here has had similar experiences with this misconception of the male orgasm because of its portrayal in (especially late 90s and early 00s) mainstream media, where it lead to you either feeling pressured, disappointed or otherwise because of this media bias towards male ejaculation. I feel that, especially at a younger age, what you see in movies and TV shows severely impacts your future expectations, especially because at that point, it is most likely your only access to sexual content of some kind.