I (21F) get too in my head when I'm about to come and have been "faking" as a result- I want to talk to him about this but how?

This is with my FWB (28M) of five months. He's the most amazing sexual partner I've ever had, and the only one who has actually put effort into trying to get me off. Our chemistry is off the charts and our sex is unbelievably good. I don't think this "faking" is a result of his technique.

I don't even want to call it faking orgasms because 90% of it is real. He knows exactly how to get me so so close, but once I get to that "so close I'm gonna come" point I get so in my head about it. This causes me to take longer, and then when I take longer I start to feeling like I'm taking TOO long and if I don't come soon he'll give up. So the super close feeling kind of just plateaus until it gets so overwhelming that I react (sometimes on purpose sometimes not) in a way that makes it seem like I'm coming. But I never cross the peak and actually come like I do when I'm masturbating.

Also, a lot of the time he'll tell me to come for him when he can tell I'm close. This is incredibly hot but just adds to the anxiety of taking way too long.

There have been a couple times where I've actually had an orgasm with him, but most of the time the close feeling doesn't lead to an orgasm. This happens multiple times every time we see each other.

But I would like to have an orgasm with him. I just don't know how to bring it up and I don't want to hurt his feelings. We've always had great communication and he's always been very understanding and receptive so I don't think he'll be upset with me maybe? I'm just having anxiety about it.

I honestly didn't even think about it much until recently, because I ALWAYS end up feeling completely satisfied and happy every time we have sex even without an orgasm. So it really isn't an issue for me, but I've started to feel guilty about lying to him in a way.

tldr; having amazing sex, it's not an issue with his technique at all, but blocks in my brain cause me to be unable to orgasm when I get close and I accidentally or purposefully fake it. How do I have this conversation so we can work on it?



Submitted November 01, 2019 at 12:22AM

This is with my FWB (28M) of five months. He's the most amazing sexual partner I've ever had, and the only one who has actually put effort into trying to get me off. Our chemistry is off the charts and our sex is unbelievably good. I don't think this "faking" is a result of his technique.I don't even want to call it faking orgasms because 90% of it is real. He knows exactly how to get me so so close, but once I get to that "so close I'm gonna come" point I get so in my head about it. This causes me to take longer, and then when I take longer I start to feeling like I'm taking TOO long and if I don't come soon he'll give up. So the super close feeling kind of just plateaus until it gets so overwhelming that I react (sometimes on purpose sometimes not) in a way that makes it seem like I'm coming. But I never cross the peak and actually come like I do when I'm masturbating.Also, a lot of the time he'll tell me to come for him when he can tell I'm close. This is incredibly hot but just adds to the anxiety of taking way too long.There have been a couple times where I've actually had an orgasm with him, but most of the time the close feeling doesn't lead to an orgasm. This happens multiple times every time we see each other.But I would like to have an orgasm with him. I just don't know how to bring it up and I don't want to hurt his feelings. We've always had great communication and he's always been very understanding and receptive so I don't think he'll be upset with me maybe? I'm just having anxiety about it.I honestly didn't even think about it much until recently, because I ALWAYS end up feeling completely satisfied and happy every time we have sex even without an orgasm. So it really isn't an issue for me, but I've started to feel guilty about lying to him in a way.tldr; having amazing sex, it's not an issue with his technique at all, but blocks in my brain cause me to be unable to orgasm when I get close and I accidentally or purposefully fake it. How do I have this conversation so we can work on it?
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