How to get over a "prude" mindset?

The title says it all -- how can someone change a prude mindset?

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I've always been slightly ashamed of the idea of being a sexual person. I blame it on my upbringing: religious household, paranoid mother who fears of what others think about us....and not to mention, society's views on girls and guys in general (we all know what I mean). In high school, girls were slut-shamed endlessly. Due to my mother's paranoia of other people's opinions, I feel like it rubbed off on me and I became afraid of seeing sex as something enjoyable. I lost my virginity with the same man who I have 2 children with, and he sure didn't help with this (our relationship had a lot of problems that I believe made my libido 10x worse).

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But now that I'm single and free, I want to get out there. I want to break out of this "shell". Porn and masturbating isn't a problem, but it's not helping. I think it's due to the fact that it's private and no one can ever know about it. But I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of this mental block. Is insecurity a problem? I don't believe it is. I don't really have problems with self-image. I am going to therapy, but that's for something else.

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Maybe there are books out there. I don't want to go to sex therapy (yet). Are there any others who have gone through this? Any advice?



Submitted September 13, 2019 at 11:30PM

The title says it all -- how can someone change a prude mindset?​I've always been slightly ashamed of the idea of being a sexual person. I blame it on my upbringing: religious household, paranoid mother who fears of what others think about us....and not to mention, society's views on girls and guys in general (we all know what I mean). In high school, girls were slut-shamed endlessly. Due to my mother's paranoia of other people's opinions, I feel like it rubbed off on me and I became afraid of seeing sex as something enjoyable. I lost my virginity with the same man who I have 2 children with, and he sure didn't help with this (our relationship had a lot of problems that I believe made my libido 10x worse).​But now that I'm single and free, I want to get out there. I want to break out of this "shell". Porn and masturbating isn't a problem, but it's not helping. I think it's due to the fact that it's private and no one can ever know about it. But I'm tired of feeling ashamed. I'm tired of this mental block. Is insecurity a problem? I don't believe it is. I don't really have problems with self-image. I am going to therapy, but that's for something else.​Maybe there are books out there. I don't want to go to sex therapy (yet). Are there any others who have gone through this? Any advice?
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