Why?

Why? Why do you say sorry? Are you sorry? Sorry for what? Why did you tell me you were crazy in love with me? Why did you tell me i made you so happy? If it was to make it so hard to be with you? So hard to read your messages? So hard to agree with you about anything? So f****** hard ? If you really were? Were you? Did you feel what you said? Or is it what you said to every guy you’ve been with? Do you think it is ok for me to read all i’ve red day after day? Is life easy for others ? Do other people not feel hunger, pain, exhaustion too ? Did you think about it? I said we shouldn’t keep any contact to make the recovery the least hard possible, you took me by my word, why can’t i stop thinking about you? I literally can’t, i can’t every single day, every night, alone or with friends, i can’t ,i’m trying but i can’t yet. You say it’s just how you are, your personnality, ´it is just how it is’ but how? How can you say you are trying? I saw how sweet and loving you can be, i felt it and cherished every bit of it, but feeling rejected about others being mean for no reasons with anybody is not ok and it has nothing to do with having ´a big personnality’ or anything. Two people can disagree on something talk about it and come out of it grown, like they have learned and shared something, without feeling personnaly attacked right? Why can’t you understand that? I must be missing something, i must be. I don’t know what it is. Maybe you are that way because of some lack of confidence? Or because of past trauma or experience? I don’t know, i am sorry if i am not understanding enough or if i can’t see it. I can’t sleep anymore and i’ll have to work tomorrow exhausted to the ground once again, i don’t know how much time i’ll be able to hold.

Submitted July 14, 2019 at 11:48PM

Why? Why do you say sorry? Are you sorry? Sorry for what? Why did you tell me you were crazy in love with me? Why did you tell me i made you so happy? If it was to make it so hard to be with you? So hard to read your messages? So hard to agree with you about anything? So f****** hard ? If you really were? Were you? Did you feel what you said? Or is it what you said to every guy you’ve been with? Do you think it is ok for me to read all i’ve red day after day? Is life easy for others ? Do other people not feel hunger, pain, exhaustion too ? Did you think about it? I said we shouldn’t keep any contact to make the recovery the least hard possible, you took me by my word, why can’t i stop thinking about you? I literally can’t, i can’t every single day, every night, alone or with friends, i can’t ,i’m trying but i can’t yet. You say it’s just how you are, your personnality, ´it is just how it is’ but how? How can you say you are trying? I saw how sweet and loving you can be, i felt it and cherished every bit of it, but feeling rejected about others being mean for no reasons with anybody is not ok and it has nothing to do with having ´a big personnality’ or anything. Two people can disagree on something talk about it and come out of it grown, like they have learned and shared something, without feeling personnaly attacked right? Why can’t you understand that? I must be missing something, i must be. I don’t know what it is. Maybe you are that way because of some lack of confidence? Or because of past trauma or experience? I don’t know, i am sorry if i am not understanding enough or if i can’t see it. I can’t sleep anymore and i’ll have to work tomorrow exhausted to the ground once again, i don’t know how much time i’ll be able to hold.