Should I Be Waiting for My Best Self

I [M20] was engrossed by someone who has eventually found someone else. But every time I interact with her, it makes me want to improve myself (i.e pursue my passions more intensely, work harder, get more in shape). I'm not entirely over her but I've come to terms with the fact that I want to look to dating other people (to get out of this "she was the only one for me mindset").

But I feel as though I'm turned off by the idea of dating because I'm not the "best version of myself" yet: There are personal goals I want to achieve (things like getting more in shape, being a better home cook etc.) before I put myself out there.

Is this a "healthy/normal" mentality? I can't tell if I'm just delaying the fact that I want to start dating again by telling myself I need to achieve my goals first. I just feel as though it's somewhat weird to tell someone, "I'm learning to be a better home cook": Because if you don't follow through with your goal, then it almost seems like you've let down the other person.

Any advice/insight appreciated!



Submitted July 08, 2019 at 11:42PM

I [M20] was engrossed by someone who has eventually found someone else. But every time I interact with her, it makes me want to improve myself (i.e pursue my passions more intensely, work harder, get more in shape). I'm not entirely over her but I've come to terms with the fact that I want to look to dating other people (to get out of this "she was the only one for me mindset").But I feel as though I'm turned off by the idea of dating because I'm not the "best version of myself" yet: There are personal goals I want to achieve (things like getting more in shape, being a better home cook etc.) before I put myself out there.Is this a "healthy/normal" mentality? I can't tell if I'm just delaying the fact that I want to start dating again by telling myself I need to achieve my goals first. I just feel as though it's somewhat weird to tell someone, "I'm learning to be a better home cook": Because if you don't follow through with your goal, then it almost seems like you've let down the other person.Any advice/insight appreciated!
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