LDR during medical residency?

Tl;dr: Friend (M/27) and I (F/25) started seeing each other 3 months before our medical residency started. We both like each other a lot and have great personal compatibility. Matched ~500 miles away from each other. Have decided not to officially date this first year in order to get to know each other better, but are staying "exclusive", the final decision whether to date or not is up to him. I would love to date him in the future, potentially consider either of us transferring residencies to be closer to each other if everything works out. Would greatly appreciate your opinion of the situation, thank you!

One of my friends (M/27) from school and I (F/25) started seeing each other near the end of medical school. We'd been remote acquaintances through school, but didn't truly start getting to know each other or viewing each other romantically until this year. To be honest, we both didn't anticipate our relationship to become as close as it has. It started off with friendship, to hanging out, and then gradually into intimacy and going on dates and such. Spending time with each other, we've both realized that we're very compatible from a personality perspective, to the point where he stated that if we were both still in M3 and had more time in close proximity together, he would welcome dating me.

Of course, this is where the current difficulty lies. Our residency programs have us separated about~500 miles. When I was speaking to my friend about the possibility of entering a long distance relationship, he naturally had some concerns. Historically, he's been against the idea of LDRs because he feels that you can't adequately grow alongside your SO or even feel like you're in a proper relationship when you're so far apart. One of his main concerns is that we have not known each other closely for a long time, only 3 months, and that it isn't a proper base for an LDR. Since we are also going to be in different cities as well, he stated the concern that he didn't want to "hold me back" from the different experiences, friendships/relationships, etc. that I'd experience if I wasn't in an LDR.

I understand his concerns. 500 miles is a great distance and 4 years (how long our jobs in our respective areas will be) is a long time to spend apart. However, I greatly enjoy his company and he's told me he enjoys mine. One of the reasons he's not refused me outright is because he acknowledged that we are extremely compatible and that he feels I'm "different" from the women he's dated in the past. (For the past 5 to 6 years, he's also been in relationships where the SO failed to be trustworthy or loyal, bleeding to some natural distrust starting a new relationship.) He knows that I am all in in terms of supporting him and his goals. And given the time that we have had together in school, I would not want to give it up so quickly when it has the potential to become something strong and truly meaningful. I've even considered the possibility of, if our relationship did truly deepen to where things became serious over the next couple years, if one of us can transfer residencies to bridge the distance. Given the distance, I've told him I know I can do what it takes to stay loyal to him and to include him in my everyday life. We already talk on the phone almost every day, which he said he enjoys, and we're both willing to arrange days through the upcoming year when we can visit each other. I'm not naive to the fact that LDRs can feel lonely and are genuinely difficult to maintain, which is why I'm emphasized to him that I'm willing to go the extra mile to include him in my life. He's very important to me.

Currently, our relationship that in which we are exclusively "together", but not officially dating. Given that he has previously been in multiple relationships, he's stated that he doesn't want to date during our first year of work, but that we can still have our "relationship" as it has been during that time. The final decision for if we will officially date will be from him as well, since I'm already for dating him when he is ready. I apologise for the massive wall of text, but my question for you at this point would be if this truly seems feasible? And is there anything I or he can do to foster our relationship during this upcoming year to show that a relationship can truly work with being so far apart?

Submitted July 08, 2019 at 12:06AM

Tl;dr: Friend (M/27) and I (F/25) started seeing each other 3 months before our medical residency started. We both like each other a lot and have great personal compatibility. Matched ~500 miles away from each other. Have decided not to officially date this first year in order to get to know each other better, but are staying "exclusive", the final decision whether to date or not is up to him. I would love to date him in the future, potentially consider either of us transferring residencies to be closer to each other if everything works out. Would greatly appreciate your opinion of the situation, thank you!One of my friends (M/27) from school and I (F/25) started seeing each other near the end of medical school. We'd been remote acquaintances through school, but didn't truly start getting to know each other or viewing each other romantically until this year. To be honest, we both didn't anticipate our relationship to become as close as it has. It started off with friendship, to hanging out, and then gradually into intimacy and going on dates and such. Spending time with each other, we've both realized that we're very compatible from a personality perspective, to the point where he stated that if we were both still in M3 and had more time in close proximity together, he would welcome dating me.Of course, this is where the current difficulty lies. Our residency programs have us separated about~500 miles. When I was speaking to my friend about the possibility of entering a long distance relationship, he naturally had some concerns. Historically, he's been against the idea of LDRs because he feels that you can't adequately grow alongside your SO or even feel like you're in a proper relationship when you're so far apart. One of his main concerns is that we have not known each other closely for a long time, only 3 months, and that it isn't a proper base for an LDR. Since we are also going to be in different cities as well, he stated the concern that he didn't want to "hold me back" from the different experiences, friendships/relationships, etc. that I'd experience if I wasn't in an LDR.I understand his concerns. 500 miles is a great distance and 4 years (how long our jobs in our respective areas will be) is a long time to spend apart. However, I greatly enjoy his company and he's told me he enjoys mine. One of the reasons he's not refused me outright is because he acknowledged that we are extremely compatible and that he feels I'm "different" from the women he's dated in the past. (For the past 5 to 6 years, he's also been in relationships where the SO failed to be trustworthy or loyal, bleeding to some natural distrust starting a new relationship.) He knows that I am all in in terms of supporting him and his goals. And given the time that we have had together in school, I would not want to give it up so quickly when it has the potential to become something strong and truly meaningful. I've even considered the possibility of, if our relationship did truly deepen to where things became serious over the next couple years, if one of us can transfer residencies to bridge the distance. Given the distance, I've told him I know I can do what it takes to stay loyal to him and to include him in my everyday life. We already talk on the phone almost every day, which he said he enjoys, and we're both willing to arrange days through the upcoming year when we can visit each other. I'm not naive to the fact that LDRs can feel lonely and are genuinely difficult to maintain, which is why I'm emphasized to him that I'm willing to go the extra mile to include him in my life. He's very important to me.Currently, our relationship that in which we are exclusively "together", but not officially dating. Given that he has previously been in multiple relationships, he's stated that he doesn't want to date during our first year of work, but that we can still have our "relationship" as it has been during that time. The final decision for if we will officially date will be from him as well, since I'm already for dating him when he is ready. I apologise for the massive wall of text, but my question for you at this point would be if this truly seems feasible? And is there anything I or he can do to foster our relationship during this upcoming year to show that a relationship can truly work with being so far apart?