Is my (26F) crush/coworker (29M) interested or is he just friendly

Hi people of reddit, ive never post anything personal life related but since I saw many successful stories here, I thought it's worth the try. So here's my story : (sorry it's gonna be super long since I bottled everything up since 2021) Ive starter to work at this new lab (PhD student) in late 2021 and ive had the biggest crush on this guy that we'll call R. A little context about me and R before. R is a super Smart/nerdy guy, super funny (like really hilarious and not because of my crush on him), gamer, 0% shallowness, super cute (but objectively not conventionally handsome). Me, on the other hand, (with really genuine modesty) i'm percieved as conventionally attractive and also, I really take care about my appearance so I may give this "superficial" vibe. For the global Idea, think of Leonard and Penny (the big Bang theory). Now, months after i joined the lab, I heard that R has a girlfriend for now 5years so I assumed that, not only i'm not his type (too superficial for him to try and know me) but him having a girlfriend was like a big no no (keep in mind for the rest of the story that due to my respect to his relationship, Ive never done anything to flirt with him ). So because of that, I never tried to talk to him and we only exchanged few words during the whole year. Now this is where things got weird. In last december, we went on "work vacation" for three Days and ive noticed that R was much more open (when drunk) and we spent the night looking at each other from across the table (we were playing board games all night). Didn't think much of it tho since the next morning he was back at being cold with me. And then, on the same week, the department threw a party for new year and we spent the whole party talking and laughing but we were in a group. And then after that, we became friends and exchanged much more than before but without any ambiguity. So I assumed that I lost my crush on him since I can now talk to him without wanting to di€ from embarrassing myself. Then the lab started to hang out every friday at the bar and i had the chance to meet his girlfriend once and ive noticed a weird vibe between Them (for exemple she tried to pass her arm around him and he moved etc). So I talked to my work male bestfriend Who told me that basically they have some trouble in their relationship because his gf is like the super bossy type. Now, it's time for the second round of context. Throughout the conversation that we had with R, we we're amazed at how different we seem but have the same humour, the same jokes, the same references, that we're both gamers, that i'm not the shallow person he thought I am and je halfly joked that he finds me attractive. And NOW, I think it's starting to get out of hand. 2 weeks ago, on friday, we went to a bar with all the lab and as usual we enfer sitting next to each other but this Time it was because he told me to stay besides him, so I assumed that it's because we laugh a lot and je enjoys my company but we spent the whole time talking only between us and laughing and ignoring everyone else and then i went out to smoke and went back to my place only for him to ask me "is There something happening between us?" And i told him "what??" And he told me "when you went out everyone told me There is clearly something happening" (not the first time being told that) so I joked that it's because we're another coworkers parents and then we continued joking about that untill i remembered that i was telling him a story before going out to smoke and then he told me "oh yeah right" and we started laughing but in an awkward manner like in a "took the joke too far"manner. Fast forward next week, we starting luching together and one Day, I went with another coworker eating and we were sitting in a table of four and he arrived at the lunch room and noticed that i was sitting on the opposite Side of the table so he asked me if I didn't want to sit besides him and at the moment my brain didn't process the info so I asked him to repeat himself and he told me "nevermind". We lunched together and i was talking and at one moment he told me "so cute" about the way i tell my stories. Fast forward friday of next week, we knew that my bestfriend coworker had the covid and we shared a cigarette together so I told R that if my coworker has the covid, I 100% have it and if I have it he 100% have it since we took our lunch together everyday this week and in front all of the lab he told me "oh come on, it's not like I kissed you everywhere" and i froze like wtf and he started laughing with a playful look on His eyes. Since it was friday, all the lab went to the bar at the end of the day and then, for the first time, he started to feel comfortable enough to touch me. The first time was when he made fun of me and then rubbed my shoulder in a comforting manner. The second was when we were comparing our foreheads and than removed my bang from my face to see my forehead and last but not least, at one moment our legs touched and he did leave it against mine (at one point he did move to grab his drink but put his leg against mine back). Now this is super important because I am a super touchy person especially when I laugh so when I used to like push his arm when i laughed at his jokes, he used to back the f up or even get super surprised so it was super weird to me that he was the one touching me. And since then, he comes to me at the lab to tease me or make me laugh, even when I go lunch after he finished he stays with me, when i want to look at him at the lab I see him looking at me and everytime I talk to him even when it's about a work related thing he smiles at me. And now, it's just super weird to me because I would never do any move on him since he has a gf but i'm obsessed with him and idk why he's acting like that. He still acts cold from time to time si it's even moré confusing. So, any thoughts?

Submitted May 17, 2023 at 01:16AM

Hi people of reddit, ive never post anything personal life related but since I saw many successful stories here, I thought it's worth the try. So here's my story : (sorry it's gonna be super long since I bottled everything up since 2021)Ive starter to work at this new lab (PhD student) in late 2021 and ive had the biggest crush on this guy that we'll call R. A little context about me and R before. R is a super Smart/nerdy guy, super funny (like really hilarious and not because of my crush on him), gamer, 0% shallowness, super cute (but objectively not conventionally handsome). Me, on the other hand, (with really genuine modesty) i'm percieved as conventionally attractive and also, I really take care about my appearance so I may give this "superficial" vibe. For the global Idea, think of Leonard and Penny (the big Bang theory). Now, months after i joined the lab, I heard that R has a girlfriend for now 5years so I assumed that, not only i'm not his type (too superficial for him to try and know me) but him having a girlfriend was like a big no no (keep in mind for the rest of the story that due to my respect to his relationship, Ive never done anything to flirt with him ). So because of that, I never tried to talk to him and we only exchanged few words during the whole year. Now this is where things got weird. In last december, we went on "work vacation" for three Days and ive noticed that R was much more open (when drunk) and we spent the night looking at each other from across the table (we were playing board games all night). Didn't think much of it tho since the next morning he was back at being cold with me. And then, on the same week, the department threw a party for new year and we spent the whole party talking and laughing but we were in a group. And then after that, we became friends and exchanged much more than before but without any ambiguity. So I assumed that I lost my crush on him since I can now talk to him without wanting to di€ from embarrassing myself. Then the lab started to hang out every friday at the bar and i had the chance to meet his girlfriend once and ive noticed a weird vibe between Them (for exemple she tried to pass her arm around him and he moved etc). So I talked to my work male bestfriend Who told me that basically they have some trouble in their relationship because his gf is like the super bossy type. Now, it's time for the second round of context. Throughout the conversation that we had with R, we we're amazed at how different we seem but have the same humour, the same jokes, the same references, that we're both gamers, that i'm not the shallow person he thought I am and je halfly joked that he finds me attractive. And NOW, I think it's starting to get out of hand. 2 weeks ago, on friday, we went to a bar with all the lab and as usual we enfer sitting next to each other but this Time it was because he told me to stay besides him, so I assumed that it's because we laugh a lot and je enjoys my company but we spent the whole time talking only between us and laughing and ignoring everyone else and then i went out to smoke and went back to my place only for him to ask me "is There something happening between us?" And i told him "what??" And he told me "when you went out everyone told me There is clearly something happening" (not the first time being told that) so I joked that it's because we're another coworkers parents and then we continued joking about that untill i remembered that i was telling him a story before going out to smoke and then he told me "oh yeah right" and we started laughing but in an awkward manner like in a "took the joke too far"manner. Fast forward next week, we starting luching together and one Day, I went with another coworker eating and we were sitting in a table of four and he arrived at the lunch room and noticed that i was sitting on the opposite Side of the table so he asked me if I didn't want to sit besides him and at the moment my brain didn't process the info so I asked him to repeat himself and he told me "nevermind". We lunched together and i was talking and at one moment he told me "so cute" about the way i tell my stories. Fast forward friday of next week, we knew that my bestfriend coworker had the covid and we shared a cigarette together so I told R that if my coworker has the covid, I 100% have it and if I have it he 100% have it since we took our lunch together everyday this week and in front all of the lab he told me "oh come on, it's not like I kissed you everywhere" and i froze like wtf and he started laughing with a playful look on His eyes. Since it was friday, all the lab went to the bar at the end of the day and then, for the first time, he started to feel comfortable enough to touch me. The first time was when he made fun of me and then rubbed my shoulder in a comforting manner. The second was when we were comparing our foreheads and than removed my bang from my face to see my forehead and last but not least, at one moment our legs touched and he did leave it against mine (at one point he did move to grab his drink but put his leg against mine back). Now this is super important because I am a super touchy person especially when I laugh so when I used to like push his arm when i laughed at his jokes, he used to back the f up or even get super surprised so it was super weird to me that he was the one touching me. And since then, he comes to me at the lab to tease me or make me laugh, even when I go lunch after he finished he stays with me, when i want to look at him at the lab I see him looking at me and everytime I talk to him even when it's about a work related thing he smiles at me.And now, it's just super weird to me because I would never do any move on him since he has a gf but i'm obsessed with him and idk why he's acting like that. He still acts cold from time to time si it's even moré confusing. So, any thoughts?