Persuing a girl I go clubbing with

I'm 23 and I'm interested in a girl 22 who is in a group I regularly hang out with and club with. For context she started showing signs she was into me which, after being clued in by a mate, I started to pick up on.

I didn't really have her on my radar at any point other than thinking she was attractive and pleasant to be around. During this time I have hooked up others (which was a first for me) but after doing it I realised I wanted more from a relationship.

I'm pretty inexperienced in general, not had any long term partners, been on a handful of dates but struggled with being hung up on a girl I lived with for a couple of years. Over the last year I've been changing a lot in terms of getting in shape, going through therapy and various personal developments. Iused to never really go out just kinda stayed at home and hung out in small groups. I wouldn't say I'm a social butterfly or anything, just far more socially comfortable in general.

Thus it leads into my encounter with said girl, the group we hang out in has 6 or so people at its core and we happen to be the only single ones. Often we get hyped up by the others to ask people out, but never eachother. We live in different flat blocks of the same building and I would say I'm scared of fucking things up, more for the group rather than anything else.

We had a night out where it became the two of us together and I made a move, I showed my intention and she responded well, only danced intimately and talk. I'm not much of a flirt nor am I very confident, so I didn't push much. I merely wanted to get to know her which stating my intentions clearly, I want to take it slow and get to know her. I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill, if it's FWB then sure, if it's longer than all the better.

We have since that night gone for a rather impromptu double date organised by the another couple in the group which was fun but didn't make a move in many ways. We have since texted rather innocuously as she was abroad for a while. I have been since told that during one of the "girl talks" in the club she was seemingly down to go all the way, we're both people who occasionally hook up with people so it doesn't fully come as a suprise but it makes me anxious about not picking up on signals. As much as I want to take things slow, I am someone who wants to enjoy a relationship sexually sooner rather than waiting for ages.

I've asked her to go for coffee on Monday and she seemed happy to accept. Reading intentions through text, especially when I don't know them super well yet, is rather hard for m. I get a lot of anxiety after experiencing things fizzling out when texting and being ghosted.

Any comments on the story over setting my anxiety to one side would be appreciated. My main purpose with this is to ask where do people typically take things from here? We held hands for a bit to get through the club so would it be natural to assume that's acceptable now? Is awkward to ask what she wants from this? How would be best to put it naturally? Where does a relationship progress well from here? It feels so different from my prior flings and others I've dated that my head is filled with so much and it's built up so much anxiety. Thanks for the advice

Submitted April 23, 2023 at 12:08AM

I'm 23 and I'm interested in a girl 22 who is in a group I regularly hang out with and club with. For context she started showing signs she was into me which, after being clued in by a mate, I started to pick up on.I didn't really have her on my radar at any point other than thinking she was attractive and pleasant to be around. During this time I have hooked up others (which was a first for me) but after doing it I realised I wanted more from a relationship.I'm pretty inexperienced in general, not had any long term partners, been on a handful of dates but struggled with being hung up on a girl I lived with for a couple of years. Over the last year I've been changing a lot in terms of getting in shape, going through therapy and various personal developments. Iused to never really go out just kinda stayed at home and hung out in small groups. I wouldn't say I'm a social butterfly or anything, just far more socially comfortable in general.Thus it leads into my encounter with said girl, the group we hang out in has 6 or so people at its core and we happen to be the only single ones. Often we get hyped up by the others to ask people out, but never eachother. We live in different flat blocks of the same building and I would say I'm scared of fucking things up, more for the group rather than anything else.We had a night out where it became the two of us together and I made a move, I showed my intention and she responded well, only danced intimately and talk. I'm not much of a flirt nor am I very confident, so I didn't push much. I merely wanted to get to know her which stating my intentions clearly, I want to take it slow and get to know her. I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill, if it's FWB then sure, if it's longer than all the better.We have since that night gone for a rather impromptu double date organised by the another couple in the group which was fun but didn't make a move in many ways. We have since texted rather innocuously as she was abroad for a while. I have been since told that during one of the "girl talks" in the club she was seemingly down to go all the way, we're both people who occasionally hook up with people so it doesn't fully come as a suprise but it makes me anxious about not picking up on signals. As much as I want to take things slow, I am someone who wants to enjoy a relationship sexually sooner rather than waiting for ages.I've asked her to go for coffee on Monday and she seemed happy to accept. Reading intentions through text, especially when I don't know them super well yet, is rather hard for m. I get a lot of anxiety after experiencing things fizzling out when texting and being ghosted.Any comments on the story over setting my anxiety to one side would be appreciated. My main purpose with this is to ask where do people typically take things from here? We held hands for a bit to get through the club so would it be natural to assume that's acceptable now? Is awkward to ask what she wants from this? How would be best to put it naturally? Where does a relationship progress well from here? It feels so different from my prior flings and others I've dated that my head is filled with so much and it's built up so much anxiety. Thanks for the advice