Need advice

Im not sure if this the right page to ask this but here we go. This is the first real relationship me (M24) and her (F23) have ever been in and it’s been a great time. However there is something she told me and that she was a rape victim. When she told me this I really didn’t know what else to do besides hug her and just say I’m really sorry it happened. She told me she was afraid of telling me because she thought I would just leave and that’s that. I stayed w her because it’s not her fault and I wouldn’t go anywhere besides staying w her. After this convo happened, it was brought up again a few weeks later but this time she told me that she has a child with her rapist. This is where it gets wild and a HUGE curveball for me since I’ve met her family beforehand and that is that her child is her “sibling” in her family. Her parents know that it’s her child and treat her as their own but my gfs daughter doesn’t know she’s her mother. Her rapist is still in her life since they’re cousins and he is still present as we speak. Never saw the guy but in full honesty I would definitely do something to him if I ever did see him. She’s told me that she forgives him and that he’s grown to be better and he’ll always be part of her child’s life. I’ve told her that I can’t be friends or act friendly towards this guy but she wants me to attend her family events when that guy is there. She understands where I’m coming from but she wants me to be there when her family gets together. She’s told me in all her family events that her cousin will be there because it just is. I’ve grown to love my gf but this is a convo that just bothers me because no one knows about this except her parents and the parents of the father. I can’t really talk about this to anyone and I wanted anybody’s advice on what/where to go on from here. Her rapist is still in her life and due to the fact that I’ll have to go to her family events soon and seeing this guy every time I just don’t know if I have to just accept it for how it is or idk… I really do love her, I just want to see some light into this situation by someone else’s perspective. I’ll be answering any questions for more context. I also wanted to say for any victims out there, I’m really sorry it happened to you.



Submitted April 27, 2023 at 11:49PM

Im not sure if this the right page to ask this but here we go. This is the first real relationship me (M24) and her (F23) have ever been in and it’s been a great time. However there is something she told me and that she was a rape victim. When she told me this I really didn’t know what else to do besides hug her and just say I’m really sorry it happened. She told me she was afraid of telling me because she thought I would just leave and that’s that. I stayed w her because it’s not her fault and I wouldn’t go anywhere besides staying w her. After this convo happened, it was brought up again a few weeks later but this time she told me that she has a child with her rapist. This is where it gets wild and a HUGE curveball for me since I’ve met her family beforehand and that is that her child is her “sibling” in her family. Her parents know that it’s her child and treat her as their own but my gfs daughter doesn’t know she’s her mother. Her rapist is still in her life since they’re cousins and he is still present as we speak. Never saw the guy but in full honesty I would definitely do something to him if I ever did see him. She’s told me that she forgives him and that he’s grown to be better and he’ll always be part of her child’s life. I’ve told her that I can’t be friends or act friendly towards this guy but she wants me to attend her family events when that guy is there. She understands where I’m coming from but she wants me to be there when her family gets together. She’s told me in all her family events that her cousin will be there because it just is. I’ve grown to love my gf but this is a convo that just bothers me because no one knows about this except her parents and the parents of the father. I can’t really talk about this to anyone and I wanted anybody’s advice on what/where to go on from here. Her rapist is still in her life and due to the fact that I’ll have to go to her family events soon and seeing this guy every time I just don’t know if I have to just accept it for how it is or idk…I really do love her, I just want to see some light into this situation by someone else’s perspective. I’ll be answering any questions for more context. I also wanted to say for any victims out there, I’m really sorry it happened to you.
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