Am I being selfish?

My (21f) ex (28m) and I recently broke up over some trust issues which we talked over, but we are still currently broken up. This is our second time we split in an 8 month relationship. He wants to get married and wants a family,as he feels hes running out of time. I dont want to get married yet, but also i dont want to get married to him partly because of cultural differences and I dont want to have bio kids or maybe even have kids at all. And in his opinion I check off alot of his wife boxes and if I wanted the same future he wanted he would ask me in a heartbeat. We are both still extremely attached to each other and still extremely care for eachother. And cant seem to let go. Is it selfish of me to keep him around until im ready to let go? Is it stupid to get back together knowing what we know? I know its harmful to keep going in circles but our hearts are taking over our minds.

He does keep saying that if we get back together I have to expect that he will leave me if he finds a girl that will want the same future as him. Which my argument to that is these girls wont come up to you when you have a gf, you will go up to them and in my opinion that's cheating. Then he goes silent no reply.

Thoughts on the whole situation and please some advice?



Submitted April 29, 2023 at 12:11AM

My (21f) ex (28m) and I recently broke up over some trust issues which we talked over, but we are still currently broken up. This is our second time we split in an 8 month relationship. He wants to get married and wants a family,as he feels hes running out of time. I dont want to get married yet, but also i dont want to get married to him partly because of cultural differences and I dont want to have bio kids or maybe even have kids at all. And in his opinion I check off alot of his wife boxes and if I wanted the same future he wanted he would ask me in a heartbeat. We are both still extremely attached to each other and still extremely care for eachother. And cant seem to let go. Is it selfish of me to keep him around until im ready to let go? Is it stupid to get back together knowing what we know? I know its harmful to keep going in circles but our hearts are taking over our minds. He does keep saying that if we get back together I have to expect that he will leave me if he finds a girl that will want the same future as him. Which my argument to that is these girls wont come up to you when you have a gf, you will go up to them and in my opinion that's cheating. Then he goes silent no reply.Thoughts on the whole situation and please some advice?
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