Girl I'm seeing keeps ignoring my texts and I'm not sure if it's a valid concern since I have anxious attachment

Hi, I'm 25m and she's 23f and we've gone out twice, nothing physical done. I have a very strong anxious attachment and I overthink everything, and this is something I am well aware of. I started dating her with the intention and goal that I will try my best not to let that come between us and affect my perception of us or the dating stage.

At the very start, she used to get back to my text messages once every few hours, and I realized she's not someone who's on her phone all the time, which is perfectly fine. Even her dating app profile mentioned that she either replies in seconds or takes days so I didn't have expectations of fast replies. We moved on from a dating app to Whatsapp for texting and she would reply to my texts every hour or couple of hours. If she replied to my text several hours later, she would also apologize for the late reply.

Recently, (after going out twice), I've noticed that her replies are very very delayed. It's to the point that our text conversation is spread across 1-2 days rather than a point in time. Moreover, she comes online on Whatsapp and never opens my message. She is also putting stories on instagram and not getting back to my messages.

Funnily, she was the one that initiated our last (ongoing) conversation 1 day ago at night time (after we had gone out twice). I replied to it and saw she was online, but she never got back to it, and messaged me in the morning saying she was watching a tv show and then went to sleep.

One part of my brain is telling me that this means nothing, that it's not a big issue and texting like this doesn't mean she doesn't think of me as someone important to respond to. But on the other hand, the fact that she's continuously coming online, putting stories on insta, and not replying triggers my anxiety a lot and makes me think she's taking me easy.

I value and prioritise someone I'm seeing and if I don't see it getting reciprocated, it breaks my heart and makes me want to move on.

Can I please get some advice on how to deal with this? Do I confront her? Do I let it go?



Submitted March 19, 2023 at 12:14AM

Hi, I'm 25m and she's 23f and we've gone out twice, nothing physical done. I have a very strong anxious attachment and I overthink everything, and this is something I am well aware of. I started dating her with the intention and goal that I will try my best not to let that come between us and affect my perception of us or the dating stage.At the very start, she used to get back to my text messages once every few hours, and I realized she's not someone who's on her phone all the time, which is perfectly fine. Even her dating app profile mentioned that she either replies in seconds or takes days so I didn't have expectations of fast replies. We moved on from a dating app to Whatsapp for texting and she would reply to my texts every hour or couple of hours. If she replied to my text several hours later, she would also apologize for the late reply.Recently, (after going out twice), I've noticed that her replies are very very delayed. It's to the point that our text conversation is spread across 1-2 days rather than a point in time. Moreover, she comes online on Whatsapp and never opens my message. She is also putting stories on instagram and not getting back to my messages.Funnily, she was the one that initiated our last (ongoing) conversation 1 day ago at night time (after we had gone out twice). I replied to it and saw she was online, but she never got back to it, and messaged me in the morning saying she was watching a tv show and then went to sleep.One part of my brain is telling me that this means nothing, that it's not a big issue and texting like this doesn't mean she doesn't think of me as someone important to respond to. But on the other hand, the fact that she's continuously coming online, putting stories on insta, and not replying triggers my anxiety a lot and makes me think she's taking me easy.I value and prioritise someone I'm seeing and if I don't see it getting reciprocated, it breaks my heart and makes me want to move on.Can I please get some advice on how to deal with this? Do I confront her? Do I let it go?
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