/u/INVISIBLE-EYELIDS on Feel like I'm having an identity crisis trying to figure out what I am and what to do

I'm sorry you have to navigate this.

We see posts like yours on this subreddit from time to time. You're not the only one.

First, the easy stuff: Don't worry too much about getting the labels exactly right. If "bisexual gray ace" feels right-ish, it's ok to roll with it. If you're not sure, "ace" is an umbrella term. You could also just use that if you're not sure.

Coming out to your spouse is hard. I found the advice on this page to be really helpful. Nevermind that you're not coming out to your parents. In particular, take a look at the part about having a script.

The other important thing you need to do with your partner is to figure out your respective needs and boundaries. I think this video has a ton of helpful advice on how to do that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb2hnpVXTxk

My partner and I also found couples counseling to be super helpful. Be sure to select someone LGBT-affirming.

I don't dare sugar coat this. This is scary and hard and it's not certain that everything is going to work out for you and your partner.

I can offer that it does work out sometimes. It worked out for me and, in retrospect, it was the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time.

I really hope it works out for you too.





February 05, 2023 at 01:44AM
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