should i (22F) ask the guy (21M) i’m talking to what his intentions are? or will that scare him off?

I’ve been talking to this guy for awhile now and we have gone on two dates. those two dates were truly amazing and he told me he likes me. he also told me he doesn’t want a hookup and that he’s done one before and it was not his thing.

well here’s the problem- he acts very interested in me in person (very affectionate, sweet, touchy, thoughtful, etc. we literally act like gf/bf in person) but over text, he hardly pays attention to me. he will ignore my messages and text other people (his snapchat score goes up while i’m on delivered) so it has me very confused. before the first time we hung out, he was very flirty and would respond to me super quick over text, and now he doesn’t do that.

even after the first date he was barely texting me, so when we hung out for a second time i was super surprised he was acting interested in me. i thought maybe i was getting friend zoned, but when he saw me he picked me up and kissed me and everything was normal.

he goes to college almost 2 hours away so us seeing each other would have to be on the weekends, and he hasn’t put any effort into planning anything.

I did end up giving him my number instead of just using snapchat as our only form of communication, but he only texts me a few times a day, but when he does he sends multiple messages and acts interested. I’m so conflicted because i’m getting mixed signals. why is he being like this if he claims he likes me and is all over me in person?

this all being said, should i straight up ask him what his intentions are? or should i just go with the flow and play it cool? I just don’t want to waste my time because i really like him.

tl;dr: i really like this guy and i’m just confused on how to proceed. i kinda want to ghost him, but maybe give him the chance to explain himself and ask him what his intentions are? or play hard to get and ignore him? please help idk what to do



Submitted February 26, 2023 at 01:05AM

I’ve been talking to this guy for awhile now and we have gone on two dates. those two dates were truly amazing and he told me he likes me. he also told me he doesn’t want a hookup and that he’s done one before and it was not his thing.well here’s the problem- he acts very interested in me in person (very affectionate, sweet, touchy, thoughtful, etc. we literally act like gf/bf in person) but over text, he hardly pays attention to me. he will ignore my messages and text other people (his snapchat score goes up while i’m on delivered) so it has me very confused. before the first time we hung out, he was very flirty and would respond to me super quick over text, and now he doesn’t do that.even after the first date he was barely texting me, so when we hung out for a second time i was super surprised he was acting interested in me. i thought maybe i was getting friend zoned, but when he saw me he picked me up and kissed me and everything was normal.he goes to college almost 2 hours away so us seeing each other would have to be on the weekends, and he hasn’t put any effort into planning anything.I did end up giving him my number instead of just using snapchat as our only form of communication, but he only texts me a few times a day, but when he does he sends multiple messages and acts interested. I’m so conflicted because i’m getting mixed signals. why is he being like this if he claims he likes me and is all over me in person?this all being said, should i straight up ask him what his intentions are? or should i just go with the flow and play it cool? I just don’t want to waste my time because i really like him.tl;dr: i really like this guy and i’m just confused on how to proceed. i kinda want to ghost him, but maybe give him the chance to explain himself and ask him what his intentions are? or play hard to get and ignore him? please help idk what to do
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