need help

So i was in a one year relationship with this 24 women hidden in the name of B, me 24 male, met her in our company, we started as friends and couple months in we started dating, 3rd month in to our relationship never really thought that it would be this long since im on my single phase and she just invited me over to fucked at her apartment and that just how we started. During this time period sex was great and all but i was in denial that i really like her since ive been in a bad relationship before and it broke me down and as a coping mechanism i never truly open myself, we got into a really huge fight since ive been lying to her that im still going out with my girl bestfriend but it all casual no intimacy so closest intimacy we do is a hug. My gf found out about this and saw picture of me and my girl best friend in my phone but we never broke up since we also found out that she was pregnant and we decided that we are gonna stay together until we figure out what to do, and later we decided that we cannot afford to have a baby and we cannot give the best life for it and we stop the pregnancy. and as the days past i have been truly in love with her, we also decided to live together since she is all alone and we got our own house, things start to go right thinking she already forgiven me and I promise not to do it again, I was doing everything she could have ever wanted from me, Basically im being the best boyfriend she could ever wish for. A year has gone by we were sleeping together and i just randomly woke up and had an urge to go thru her phone checked everything and found out that she unblocked her ex boyfriend and even deleted their convo, i woke her up and confronted her about what happened and she just screamed and got mad telling she just message him because she said sorry for being toxic in their relationship before. Im like wtf years had passed between you and your ex and you just felt sorry and messaged him, told her that she could just mentioned it to me the reason and i wont be mad me being a calm and understanding boyfriend. then she bursted out cursing me screaming at me while i just sit there in silence and she demanded that she really wanna go home to their home town she misses her mom. Me understanding her that she hasnt gone home in 3 years i decided even though her ex bf was from her home town. I agreed to let her go home and then she went home it was an 8 hour drive from my hometown it almost like a ldr relationship, The wholetime she was there she was being distant not keeping me updated on what she does or goes since its the first time we’ve been apart after 2 years. While she was there she was acting all single and everything treating me like shit deleted me from all of her social media like i dont exist anymore, I was begging for her attention, all i asked is an assurance that she still loves me and she told “that is too hard for me to give” and my heart was shattered into pieces. While she was being fun and drinking I was holed up in our house alone crying myself to sleep everyday, Anything that makes me remind of her made me cry, I was sobbing for a month I got called out at work multiple time that im out of focus im not being me. But as the days go by im starting to feel like me again, i got in-touch with my friends again, started going out to party and drink since that was my old life without her and then I met someone lets hide in the name of D, we only went out twice when we are partying in the club and me being sentimental like to take of pictures we are not really intimate with each other but there is this few videos of her leaning in my shoulder, so i compiled our videos and created a video of it, but during all this time im still in contact with B my girlfriend. And while she was there I had a dream that she had sex with someone else and i asked her about it she told me no. this is like a mans gut feel and you know you are right. and then she found out about the video compilation i did. and she was furious and angry as hell. and i explained to her that it was nothing, nothing happened between us and its just those 2 nights that we were partying and thats it and she forgives that and she came home after 4 mos i was really happy again i was with her again but my gut feel that she had sex with someone was there, so one night while she was sleeping i decided to go thru her phone and confirmed that she had sex with someone else there and was talking to other several guys. That time i saw it my body felt heavy and fell on my knees i was crying my heart my soul was crash it even felt hard to breathe, and then had the strength to wake her up and asked her regarding it, which she confirmed that she did had sex with someone note she mentioned it happened 3 times, once they were drunk and twice they are normal and not drunk me thinking that it might be a mistake, but it happened 3 times. I broke down like my heart was being crashed but I manned up and told her that it was okay that it was my fault that I hurted her before when we were new and hurted her with the girl D, and we still stayed together and after a few days i went thru her phone again since ever since got back she is always on her phone and when i try to look what she is doing she will change the conversation or she will get mad. While i was going thru her phone found out she also started selling her nudes to other guys. I was in shocked again im still recovering to the fact that another guy was inside her now she is sending pictures of her you know what to other guys and when i ask a nude pic of her she has a lot of reasons. I was devastated yet again, but me being me forgiving her again and understanding that she just needs the money to support her family. Now we are still together but she has gone home again to her hometown, 2 mos has gone by again Me begging for her to come home so my mind could be at ease, but she doesnt wanna come home since her friends and family are there and she is enjoying there, I cannot compete with that i said. So if someone will ever read this can you give me an opinion should I still wait for her to come home and be with her and should I be on my own. Im a decent looking guy 5’11 i have my own house, own car a job and my family is wealthy we have businesses, so am i better on my own?

Submitted February 02, 2023 at 12:07AM

So i was in a one year relationship with this 24 women hidden in the name of B, me 24 male, met her in our company, we started as friends and couple months in we started dating, 3rd month in to our relationship never really thought that it would be this long since im on my single phase and she just invited me over to fucked at her apartment and that just how we started. During this time period sex was great and all but i was in denial that i really like her since ive been in a bad relationship before and it broke me down and as a coping mechanism i never truly open myself, we got into a really huge fight since ive been lying to her that im still going out with my girl bestfriend but it all casual no intimacy so closest intimacy we do is a hug. My gf found out about this and saw picture of me and my girl best friend in my phone but we never broke up since we also found out that she was pregnant and we decided that we are gonna stay together until we figure out what to do, and later we decided that we cannot afford to have a baby and we cannot give the best life for it and we stop the pregnancy. and as the days past i have been truly in love with her, we also decided to live together since she is all alone and we got our own house, things start to go right thinking she already forgiven me and I promise not to do it again, I was doing everything she could have ever wanted from me, Basically im being the best boyfriend she could ever wish for. A year has gone by we were sleeping together and i just randomly woke up and had an urge to go thru her phone checked everything and found out that she unblocked her ex boyfriend and even deleted their convo, i woke her up and confronted her about what happened and she just screamed and got mad telling she just message him because she said sorry for being toxic in their relationship before. Im like wtf years had passed between you and your ex and you just felt sorry and messaged him, told her that she could just mentioned it to me the reason and i wont be mad me being a calm and understanding boyfriend. then she bursted out cursing me screaming at me while i just sit there in silence and she demanded that she really wanna go home to their home town she misses her mom. Me understanding her that she hasnt gone home in 3 years i decided even though her ex bf was from her home town. I agreed to let her go home and then she went home it was an 8 hour drive from my hometown it almost like a ldr relationship, The wholetime she was there she was being distant not keeping me updated on what she does or goes since its the first time we’ve been apart after 2 years. While she was there she was acting all single and everything treating me like shit deleted me from all of her social media like i dont exist anymore, I was begging for her attention, all i asked is an assurance that she still loves me and she told “that is too hard for me to give” and my heart was shattered into pieces. While she was being fun and drinking I was holed up in our house alone crying myself to sleep everyday, Anything that makes me remind of her made me cry, I was sobbing for a month I got called out at work multiple time that im out of focus im not being me. But as the days go by im starting to feel like me again, i got in-touch with my friends again, started going out to party and drink since that was my old life without her and then I met someone lets hide in the name of D, we only went out twice when we are partying in the club and me being sentimental like to take of pictures we are not really intimate with each other but there is this few videos of her leaning in my shoulder, so i compiled our videos and created a video of it, but during all this time im still in contact with B my girlfriend. And while she was there I had a dream that she had sex with someone else and i asked her about it she told me no. this is like a mans gut feel and you know you are right. and then she found out about the video compilation i did. and she was furious and angry as hell. and i explained to her that it was nothing, nothing happened between us and its just those 2 nights that we were partying and thats it and she forgives that and she came home after 4 mos i was really happy again i was with her again but my gut feel that she had sex with someone was there, so one night while she was sleeping i decided to go thru her phone and confirmed that she had sex with someone else there and was talking to other several guys. That time i saw it my body felt heavy and fell on my knees i was crying my heart my soul was crash it even felt hard to breathe, and then had the strength to wake her up and asked her regarding it, which she confirmed that she did had sex with someone note she mentioned it happened 3 times, once they were drunk and twice they are normal and not drunk me thinking that it might be a mistake, but it happened 3 times. I broke down like my heart was being crashed but I manned up and told her that it was okay that it was my fault that I hurted her before when we were new and hurted her with the girl D, and we still stayed together and after a few days i went thru her phone again since ever since got back she is always on her phone and when i try to look what she is doing she will change the conversation or she will get mad. While i was going thru her phone found out she also started selling her nudes to other guys. I was in shocked again im still recovering to the fact that another guy was inside her now she is sending pictures of her you know what to other guys and when i ask a nude pic of her she has a lot of reasons. I was devastated yet again, but me being me forgiving her again and understanding that she just needs the money to support her family. Now we are still together but she has gone home again to her hometown, 2 mos has gone by again Me begging for her to come home so my mind could be at ease, but she doesnt wanna come home since her friends and family are there and she is enjoying there, I cannot compete with that i said. So if someone will ever read this can you give me an opinion should I still wait for her to come home and be with her and should I be on my own. Im a decent looking guy 5’11 i have my own house, own car a job and my family is wealthy we have businesses, so am i better on my own?