need help with loneliness in my relationship:"

why am i so scared to be alone?

Well, im 24 y.o and I've never had a real reletionship. I actually spent most of my life looking for someone to entertain me and make me feel "important" as a special friend. I manage to do so, until I learned that I was easily bored by this kind of "friendship". And so for almost a year I've wholly stopped (i started when I was 11 I think,i would just be obsessed with one person and make this person the main topic of my thoughts) But in August i met a boy, with i was totally infatuated because I really like the way he lives and how much efforts he puts into his life. I fell for him and his sexy brain.

Well anyway, of course he's not like all of that "friendship " I've been used to for years.. so now after three months of us being in a reletionship I feel lonely as fuck. I mean i know i am not. I know for sure he likes me, even though sometimes he really sucks. But still, i think that im looking for in him what i was doing with that kind of "special friendship ". And im sure this is not healthy, because i should concentrate on myself and my life, but why am i still scared of being alone? I don't like this feeling. Everytime i think about it it's stupid, i want to live like him, with a dream to concentrate on, something only mine that i can live for. But then i feel like i want someone to stick with me forever, someone who i can reach everytime i want without being anxious of them answering me after hours.. I don't know how to do this, truly i don't want this part of me to ruin the beautiful feeling i have for him, i don't want this to ruin what we are creating



Submitted January 02, 2023 at 12:12AM

why am i so scared to be alone?Well, im 24 y.o and I've never had a real reletionship. I actually spent most of my life looking for someone to entertain me and make me feel "important" as a special friend. I manage to do so, until I learned that I was easily bored by this kind of "friendship". And so for almost a year I've wholly stopped (i started when I was 11 I think,i would just be obsessed with one person and make this person the main topic of my thoughts) But in August i met a boy, with i was totally infatuated because I really like the way he lives and how much efforts he puts into his life. I fell for him and his sexy brain.Well anyway, of course he's not like all of that "friendship " I've been used to for years.. so now after three months of us being in a reletionship I feel lonely as fuck. I mean i know i am not. I know for sure he likes me, even though sometimes he really sucks. But still, i think that im looking for in him what i was doing with that kind of "special friendship ". And im sure this is not healthy, because i should concentrate on myself and my life, but why am i still scared of being alone? I don't like this feeling. Everytime i think about it it's stupid, i want to live like him, with a dream to concentrate on, something only mine that i can live for. But then i feel like i want someone to stick with me forever, someone who i can reach everytime i want without being anxious of them answering me after hours.. I don't know how to do this, truly i don't want this part of me to ruin the beautiful feeling i have for him, i don't want this to ruin what we are creating
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