Boyfriend says he won’t comfort me anymore because he doesn’t think it’s helping

[19F] [20M] Over the weekend I got my period, then a scary but small vaginal hematoma from my bf and some sort of awful virus from damn applebee’s. I have severe depression and it’s just now a month since I had to put down my childhood dog who I was taking care of on my own in his last years. I have a hard time taking care of myself especially now that he’s gone. I could barley walk today and once I was sure he was home I told him I was scared and overwhelmed and I needed his comfort. He’s usually a very emotional and sensitive guy but he blew up on me and told me that I need to get a hold of myself, that he’s not my pillow, I need to stop complaining and that him comforting me isn’t helping me at all. I get where he’s coming from, he had a long day and feels drained. After I went and hurled over my trash can from the anxiety of how he was treating me so suddenly I came back and explained that I’d appreciate if he wasn’t so stern because what he said was the opposite of what I needed. He doubled down and I feel so hurt and not heard. I understand his frustration, I’m not asking him to fix me, just to comfort me. I get that neither of us are in the right and I’m not a fair girlfriend for not taking care of myself and expecting him to comfort me but this is really upsetting me and I’m always one to just forget and forgive.



Submitted January 18, 2023 at 12:11AM

[19F] [20M] Over the weekend I got my period, then a scary but small vaginal hematoma from my bf and some sort of awful virus from damn applebee’s. I have severe depression and it’s just now a month since I had to put down my childhood dog who I was taking care of on my own in his last years. I have a hard time taking care of myself especially now that he’s gone. I could barley walk today and once I was sure he was home I told him I was scared and overwhelmed and I needed his comfort. He’s usually a very emotional and sensitive guy but he blew up on me and told me that I need to get a hold of myself, that he’s not my pillow, I need to stop complaining and that him comforting me isn’t helping me at all. I get where he’s coming from, he had a long day and feels drained. After I went and hurled over my trash can from the anxiety of how he was treating me so suddenly I came back and explained that I’d appreciate if he wasn’t so stern because what he said was the opposite of what I needed. He doubled down and I feel so hurt and not heard. I understand his frustration, I’m not asking him to fix me, just to comfort me. I get that neither of us are in the right and I’m not a fair girlfriend for not taking care of myself and expecting him to comfort me but this is really upsetting me and I’m always one to just forget and forgive.
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