Is she using me for attention? Or is she playing hard to get?

Quick context: I’ve been seeing this girl 3 months now. She is only 19, says she has never dated before (or had a boyfriend or ANYTHING romantic), and is very guarded/conservative.

On our third date she told me she is all new to this and wanted to be friends first and take things slow. With that said, we have been out together 7-8 more times since then and it’s gone super well. She even had me over to her small intimate familys thanksgiving, had me go to a christmas party as her plus one, and all that.

With that said, I really don’t want to be strung along or used for attention. It’s abundantly clear that I’m the only guy in her life right now that she hangs out with, and honestly maybe even the only non-family member she spends time with outside work. She is a very guarded individual and keeps making comments about “how she was raised” when it comes to certain secular/mainstream things or even just girls/guys hanging out.

There’s been positive signs like us flirting with each other, she makes comments like “ohhh idk why I hang out with you so much, its suchhh a mystery, we spend so much time together…” and recently keeps mentioning how much she enjoys my company. But at the same time she will introduce me time and time again as “her friend” and if someone pushes back she will emphasize “we are just friends”.

Those are just a few small examples but essentially its been mixed signals from the get go.

On one hand she will say yes to go out literally anytime I ask her, making time for me even though she works full time. On the other hand she can be very reserved in showing her feelings and introduces me as her friend.

Should I just ask her straight up if her feelings have changed when I see her next? Because honestly there are a lot of signs that she does like me as more than a friend but at the same time she is still very guarded and sends a lot of mixed signals



Submitted December 13, 2022 at 12:56AM

Quick context: I’ve been seeing this girl 3 months now. She is only 19, says she has never dated before (or had a boyfriend or ANYTHING romantic), and is very guarded/conservative.On our third date she told me she is all new to this and wanted to be friends first and take things slow. With that said, we have been out together 7-8 more times since then and it’s gone super well. She even had me over to her small intimate familys thanksgiving, had me go to a christmas party as her plus one, and all that.With that said, I really don’t want to be strung along or used for attention. It’s abundantly clear that I’m the only guy in her life right now that she hangs out with, and honestly maybe even the only non-family member she spends time with outside work. She is a very guarded individual and keeps making comments about “how she was raised” when it comes to certain secular/mainstream things or even just girls/guys hanging out.There’s been positive signs like us flirting with each other, she makes comments like “ohhh idk why I hang out with you so much, its suchhh a mystery, we spend so much time together…” and recently keeps mentioning how much she enjoys my company. But at the same time she will introduce me time and time again as “her friend” and if someone pushes back she will emphasize “we are just friends”.Those are just a few small examples but essentially its been mixed signals from the get go.On one hand she will say yes to go out literally anytime I ask her, making time for me even though she works full time. On the other hand she can be very reserved in showing her feelings and introduces me as her friend.Should I just ask her straight up if her feelings have changed when I see her next? Because honestly there are a lot of signs that she does like me as more than a friend but at the same time she is still very guarded and sends a lot of mixed signals
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