is putting your own feelings selfish if you like someone your best friend likes ?

maybe im coping with the fact that i'm a bad person but over the weekend, this guy kissed me and i reciprocated the kiss when my best friend told me she was uncomfortable with it because she might like him. however, she did not explicitly say she liked him. in fact she said multiple times she did not like him and she did not know how to feel. also she rejected him four times. he's not very attractive but we talked a lot and his personality made him attractive and it's been a while since I made out or been with someone I emotionally connected with so well. I feel like a horrible person for putting myself above my friend's feelings becasue she is my best friend and no guy is worth the friendship we have. i promised her that i wouldnt make any advances and would distance myself from him if she was uncomfortble but i felt like i couldnt because he was so easy to talk to and i somewhat liked being around him. however, i also asked her to stop me at any point she felt uncomfortable and she seemed fine the entire night up till we kissed. i feel terrible but also i feel like me being attracted to someone who i connected with is also sometimes inevitable. i cut contact with the guy afterwards and i just wanted either some advice or perspectives on this situation.



Submitted December 14, 2022 at 01:11AM

maybe im coping with the fact that i'm a bad person but over the weekend, this guy kissed me and i reciprocated the kiss when my best friend told me she was uncomfortable with it because she might like him. however, she did not explicitly say she liked him. in fact she said multiple times she did not like him and she did not know how to feel. also she rejected him four times. he's not very attractive but we talked a lot and his personality made him attractive and it's been a while since I made out or been with someone I emotionally connected with so well. I feel like a horrible person for putting myself above my friend's feelings becasue she is my best friend and no guy is worth the friendship we have. i promised her that i wouldnt make any advances and would distance myself from him if she was uncomfortble but i felt like i couldnt because he was so easy to talk to and i somewhat liked being around him. however, i also asked her to stop me at any point she felt uncomfortable and she seemed fine the entire night up till we kissed. i feel terrible but also i feel like me being attracted to someone who i connected with is also sometimes inevitable. i cut contact with the guy afterwards and i just wanted either some advice or perspectives on this situation.
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