Do guys who banter just want to hook up?

I have a dilemma. I'm a woman, and on dating apps, but also irl, I feel like I’m sometimes drawn toward assholes because, before I even realize that they are, I like that their bio is kind of flirty or rogue-ish. Here’s the thing: I’d really like a boyfriend and a stable monogamous relationship. I don’t want hookups, which is usually the only thing the asshole guys want (I know there are non-asshole men who only want to hook up, but I think they're of a different variety). But what I DO want is someone I can imagine myself bantering and flirting with, someone witty, or someone that likes to joke around, because I’m witty and like to joke around. I also just find it sexy when that kind of chemistry is there. Which is why the guys who usually message me with sincerity first or have more serious profiles don’t interest me as much. It’s not that I don’t want sincere conversations, but I want some level of fun to be there first. I don’t know what to do about this.

Reddit users: in your experience, are guys who banter usually just looking to hook up? Should I give the ones who are sincere a chance and hope they’re able to banter later?

Sincerely,

Wants the Banter

Submitted December 10, 2022 at 01:14AM

I have a dilemma. I'm a woman, and on dating apps, but also irl, I feel like I’m sometimes drawn toward assholes because, before I even realize that they are, I like that their bio is kind of flirty or rogue-ish. Here’s the thing: I’d really like a boyfriend and a stable monogamous relationship. I don’t want hookups, which is usually the only thing the asshole guys want (I know there are non-asshole men who only want to hook up, but I think they're of a different variety). But what I DO want is someone I can imagine myself bantering and flirting with, someone witty, or someone that likes to joke around, because I’m witty and like to joke around. I also just find it sexy when that kind of chemistry is there. Which is why the guys who usually message me with sincerity first or have more serious profiles don’t interest me as much. It’s not that I don’t want sincere conversations, but I want some level of fun to be there first. I don’t know what to do about this.Reddit users: in your experience, are guys who banter usually just looking to hook up? Should I give the ones who are sincere a chance and hope they’re able to banter later?Sincerely,Wants the Banter